Love is all you need
by scrubbers94
Summary: Meredith and Derek together after 3 years facing the complications of life including a baby, intimacy problems and their friends. But when they have to consider their own relationship will they make it? Some bits rated M, majority really T, please r&r!
1. Grey Morning

**Okay so this is my first Grey's fic, though I have written before, mainly band fics though so this is a little different. I'll admit that it might take a while to get going so think of this as a taster chapter to get used to my writing style, decide whether you love or hate it... I'm English so if get American things wrong I'm sorry... It will get better I promise, I have many things planned for them :)**

**And of course I do not claim to own any of the characters on Grey's Anatomy, although if I did the season 3 finale would have been a lot happier.**

**One final note, I have no idea when I'll be able to write more, in the middle of A levels atm so yeah... could be a while!**

At six o'clock in the morning, the cries of Lily Shepherd broke the silence of a wet and drizzly Monday morning. Groaning, Meredith made a move to get up and tend to her 2 month old daughter when she felt a hand grab her arm and pull her back down into the warmth of her bed. 

"…my day off Mer, I'll see to her… you sleep," and before she knew it Meredith was tucked up back in bed and her soon-to-be husband stumbled half-asleep out of their bedroom.

Derek opened the door to the nursery and walked over to the cot where his daughter lay screaming her tiny lungs out. He picked her up and held her against his chest where her small fists grabbed his pyjama top desperately and her cries deepened.

"Hey, hey missy, shhhhhhhhh... Someone's hungry aren't they? We'll soon sort you out won't we princess? Yes we will," he soothed as he walked downstairs to the kitchen rubbing her back. He grabbed a bottle of breast milk from the fridge and stuck it in the "bottle heater thing" (aptly named by Meredith) and walked Lily round until her cries began to cease. Once the milk was warm he walked into the living room and sat himself on the sofa and began to feed his daughter. Even though he'd only had 5 hours sleep (the joys of being a Neurosurgeon) he relished the time spent with Lily. He was besotted with her, he'd fallen in love all over again when she had been placed in his arms for the first time and he could honestly say he'd do anything for her.

He hadn't spent as much time with Lily as he might have liked over the past 2 months since she'd arrived, his busy schedule and inflexible work hours apparently didn't allow for father-daughter bonding time. Meredith though was on maternity leave and would be for the next month, perhaps longer (though he doubted she'd be able to stay away from the OR for that long) and he was jealous of all the time his fiancé had alone with their daughter. But grey mornings when he didn't have to work were his and his alone to spend with his beautiful little girl. She'd look up at him with her sparkly blue eyes and he'd just smile and think how lucky he was. On that particular grey day he remembered back to when they'd found out. It hadn't been a planned pregnancy, a late Christmas present you might say…

* * *

_They'd been celebrating the holiday with their friends; there had been mulled wine and cheesy Christmas music and lots of food and stupid games and crackers with paper hats. It had been perfect and when Derek was saying the final goodbyes at their door, he'd turned round and found Meredith swaying to Judy Garland, a look of pure ecstasy on her face. He'd walked over and took her in his arms and they'd danced together._

"_Thank you so much for the most wonderful Christmas Derek," she'd whispered, placing her head against his chest as he held her closer._

"_It was my pleasure Mer, I love you so so much… I couldn't imagine spending it with anyone else," and he'd bent down and kissed her softly, his tongue just lingering on her lips. That night they'd made love on the floor of their living room, forgetting everything, completely absorbed in each other, falling asleep in each others arms amidst discarded wrapping paper and bits of ribbon. _

_It had been four weeks later when Meredith found herself staring at a blue stick. When she'd told him she had burst into tears and stuttered, "I'm pr-pr-pregnant and I, I-I don't know what to do D-Derek…" and he'd pulled her on to his lap and into a hug. "It'll be okay, shhhhhh sweetheart, we'll be okay, I promise…" he'd whispered as he'd rocked her back and forth until her sobs stopped. Eventually she'd pulled back and looked at him, breathed, "You're sure?" "I'm sure." She'd smiled then, apparently needing no more assurance and she'd snuggled back further into his chest, completely trusting him and he'd never felt happier. His girlfriend, the love of his life was pregnant and they had a whole future ahead of him._

* * *

Derek was brought back to reality when he heard a gurgle from his daughter, she'd finished her bottle and was staring up at him expectantly. He placed the bottle on the coffee table and returned his attention back to Lily 

"Wasn't that yummy princess?" He cooed, tickling her nose, earning a smile, "The yummiest breakfast ever wasn't it?" and he lifted her over his shoulder and walked her back upstairs, winding her as he went. He walked down the hall and placed his already weary daughter back into her crib, tucking her underneath the quilt his mother had made.

Meredith was still dozing when she felt an arm snake round her waist and a warm body spooned up against her. She smiled and grabbed his hand bring it up to her chest, giggling as he inhaled her hair, which after 3 years still smelt of lavender.

"Morning daddy," she mumbled sleepily.

"And good morning mummy," came the teasing reply. She turned and shuffled against his chest, her hair splayed everywhere and he stroked her back. They lay entangled for a while when Derek broke the silence.

"So I was thinking today we could spend the day together… just you and me? Izzie offered to look after Lily for a few hours and I thought we could, well you know…" he'd looked suggestively at her, his blue eyes twinkling but his smiling face soon turned into a frown when he saw her expression. She looked uncomfortable, her eyes refusing to meet his and he felt her stiffen slightly in his arms.

"I'm really sorry Derek…but I just-"

"Alright Mer, don't worry... when you're ready… it's just I thou-"

"I know. And you've been incredibly patient, and don't worry, it won't go unrewarded..." She grinned at him then, her eyes finally meeting his, "It's just, at the moment, well, I-"

"-don't feel ready, I get it." She relaxed again and kissed his jaw, inhaling the musky scent of cologne and soap.

"I love you Derek, don't forget that okay? I'm just having a hard time getting back into the swing of things," she paused, looking up at him, "I want our first time together again to be right, perfect… you get that sweetheart don't you?"

"I do Mer, I do," and he smiled. He could wait, he would wait.

**So what do you guys think? Should I keep writing? Please review :)**


	2. Tears

**Chapter 2, in which there is some drama but not really, minor compared to the show lol. I can promise though that any drama and angst I put in will be completely rectified and this will have a happy ending. I'm a romantic at heart and I cannot stand sad endings _cough_season 3 finale_cough_ And thank you to anyone that reviewed last time, it was much appreciated, after all this is for you guys so your opinion counts for a lot :) Inspiration for the next 2 chapters comes from a book called "After Ever After" And again, I've not come up with a name, suggestions welcome lol! But anyway, read on! **

It had been a week since that grey Monday morning and they still hadn't had sex. He understood, or tried to at least, he knew having a baby made everything different. Who really would want to have sex after pushing a small person out of them, after having stitches in a very unpleasant place?And it wasn't as if Meredith was pulling away from him, she was still affectionate, they still talked and laughed and acted like a normal couple and aside from the no sex, they were perfect. It's just the no sex was getting to him. Every time he saw Meredith feed Lily he was reminded of what he wasn't enjoying, of what he couldn't have and it was all he could do not to pounce on her.

He sighed, pushed his thoughts to the back of his head and ran a hand through his unruly hair. He glanced at his watch, 8 o'clock, _4 hours and I'm home_ he thought, returning his attention back to the chart in front of him. He'd taken Lily that morning and put her in the hospital nursery for the first time; Meredith was finally leaving the house to do something other than grocery shopping. She and her fellow residents, Cristina, Izzie, George, Alex, were going to Joe's together and it was her first time since Lily had been born.

* * *

She'd been reluctant at first. Derek was sat reading the newspaper when she had slumped down beside him, mumbling incoherently to herself. He'd put his newspaper down turned to her and pulled her against him, stroking her hair, waiting for her to talk. Finally she lifted her head from his chest and looked at him. Unsure of what to say, she eventually blurted: 

"Cristina wants to go to Joe's!" She frowned at him, expecting Derek to understand, except he didn't.

"Well that's great isn't it? You guys haven't been out together since Lily." He smiled at her, she was so cute when she frowned. His smile soon mirrored her frown though when he saw her expression.

"Exactly! I've changed so much Derek… I'm not skinny anymore… and I can't drink because of the breast feeding thing and I haven't got anything to wear… it's going to be awful Derek, awful… They're gonna treat me like a mum, and I am but I'm still Meredith you know? Except at the moment I'm not Meredith. I'm this freakishly fat woman with huge boobs who can't drink and has turned into a social retard!" She said all of this so quickly that he'd had difficulty deciphering it all.

And then she'd started crying, which almost made him cry because she'd looked so tragically upset. He just let her sob into his chest, rubbing her back as he would Lily, waiting for her to stop. Eventually the sobs turned to snuffles and she stopped shaking. He would fix this, he could fix this. He looked down at her and wiped her tears away with his thumbs and pulled her on to his lap.

"No more tears?" Derek asked softly, kissing her hair.

"No more tears." Meredith replied shakily, burying her face into the crook of his neck.

"You'll never believe me, but for the record Mer, you're not freakishly fat. And you shouldn't let the fact that you've just had a baby stop you from living your life you know? Your friends won't care if you've put on a few pounds, you're still Meredith sweetheart; you're still the person I fell in love with; who your friends adore…" He smiled, thinking how much he loved her. He pulled her a little closer and kissed her hair again, his hand still rubbing her back.

"Yeah well you would say that wouldn't you? You have to. You're the one that did this to me…" came the gruff reply. He grinned and said,

"That's exactly what the Meredith I love would have said, proving my point. See, I'm right."

"Are not."

"I am."

"Okay fine, you're right! I still can't go out with them though. I won't!" She said forcefully, pulling back to look at him, her green eyes flashing.

"Alright don't. I think you're making a mistake though Mer, they're not gonna care if you don't look like a waif anymore. They're your family, family don't care about things like that. And we've established that you're still Meredith so…" He smiled at her, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear and cupping her cheek.

"So I've got to go, that's what you're saying?"

"No I'm saying you shouldn't feel that you can't go, because you can. If you want to."

"Okay." She paused and said quietly, "I want to." And then she smiled at him, and assumed burying her face into the crook of his neck.

"Thanks Der," she whispered softly.

* * *

That had been two days ago. He smiled to himself, and finished writing instructions on the chart before handing it back to the nurses' station. He glanced at his pager, nothing. His scheduled surgery had been pushed back to make way for a trauma and he still had four hours left of his shift. _Paper work it is then_, he thought and started to walk down the corridor towards his office when someone screeched, 

"DEREK!"

He turned around and found Meredith running up to him, clearly hysterical with, _Oh god…_ he thought, wet patches around her chest. People were staring now which was the last thing she'd want. He grabbed her and put his arm round her shoulder and walked her quickly into his office without a word. He locked the door and shut the blinds; the world didn't need to know their business and she didn't need to feel worse. When he finished he turned around and found her still standing, her arms crossed in front of her, eyes shut, tears threatening to fall and her cheeks crimson with shame. He walked over to her and pulled her tightly into his embrace. She let the tears fall then, big hot wet tears of rage and fatigue. Her breathing became ragged and quick and desperate, her fists grabbing on to his scrubs as she let out her frustration.

"Hey Mer, slow down…" he soothed, rubbing her back. "Slow down and breathe okay? Just breathe…" They stood for about ten minutes, the sound of her sobs breaking the silence but eventually the tears stopped and she released her iron grip on his scrubs.

Meredith looked up at him, "I'm okay… really, I'm okay."

He looked at her sternly, "You honestly expect me to believe that Mer? I think half of the hospital knows you're not okay…"

"Well, I am, okay?" she said forcefully, willing herself to believe the words even if he didn't.

"No, not okay because clearly you're not. Mer I know you, okay is automatic for "I feel crap". You don't have to pretend with me, I'm not gonna think you're weak or stupid for being upset. Plus if you talk to me, I can help yeah? I thought you knew that and like I've said many, many times before, you can tell me if you're not okay." He looked imploringly at her and her eyes softened; she hugged him a little closer.

"Okay…I'm not okay."

"Thank you." He brushed her hair out of her face and grinned, "What am I going to do huh? Both my girls seem to do nothing but cry at the moment. How do you think that makes me feel?" His tone was light and teasing, "Maybe I should start crying..."

"I'm sorry Der... it's just everything is rubbish and I don't think the hormones are helping..." She sighed defeatedly. He just nodded and kissed her hair, and rested his chin on top of her head, fitting together perfectly.

"I understand Mer, I get it. I'm just teasing...You wanna talk about it though? Why you're here with me, not that I'm complaining, instead of at Joe's?" Came his soft reply.

"Not yet. Can we just… sit?"

"Of course we can." So they sat on his small sofa, her on his lap with her head on his shoulder, his hand gently stroking her hair every now and then; the silence broken only by the bustle of the hospital outside and their breathing. After about half an hour Meredith lifted her head and sighed.

"Okay, so seeing as you're head of neurosurgery and you've been AWOL for about forty-five minutes now with your hysterical, very hormonal, wet breasted fiancé I guess we should talk about it…" Meredith gave him a small smile; she was happier than before, her eyes were still a little sad but she definitely felt better.

"Alright Mer," he smiled back and rubbed her back reassuringly, "Don't worry about me though, if they need a neurosurgeon they can page one of the other attendings, you're far more important than someone's brain..." Derek grinned at her, his smile meeting his eyes.

"So we both know that isn't true Derek, what if they're about to die? Or if they have an aneurism? Or i-"

"Changing the subject now are we?" He teased.

"Well you did bring it up…" Meredith looked sheepishly at him but he was having none of it, "Alright okay, it's a long story though, full of shame and embarrassment, think you can stand it?"

"Try me." He smiled again and she returned it, settling back against his chest, inhaling him, his scent relaxing her.

"Okay, so…"

**Meredith's explanation up next (plus office antics...)! Until then, read and review?**


	3. These walls aren't soundproof

**Right that you're either going to love or hate this chapter… I really hope it's love though! And I know it's taking forever for a plot to really get going but it will be established eventually, I just want to explore them as characters for a bit before I get down to business on the proper stuff; there is much darker stuff ahead I am afraid (not for a while). The fluff will triumph though! I really hope that made sense and that you guys will keep on reading! Anyway, on to the fic, it picks up directly from the last chapter.  
**

"So firstly I was in a rush to get ready, I think I must've fallen asleep or something but I woke up and only had about 20 minutes to get ready. You know that I have no clothes right? I ended up wearing a pair of my maternity jeans and my Dartmouth top, I guess you can see that actually... I felt pretty shabby looking but it was okay I guess. I met them at all at like seven o'clock and it was fine. They were drinking, I wasn't, neither was George (I think he felt sorry for me) and we were having a good time. I think we were, there was laughing and Joe was really sweet and gave me a weird fake non-alcoholic cocktail thing on the house because it my first time out and it tasted pretty damn good actually, you should try one sometime…"

"Mer?"

"What?!"

"Kinda off topic sweetheart," Derek chuckled but hastily stopped when Meredith punched his arm.

"Ow!"

"That's what you get for interrupting," she frowned at him, then continued her story.

"So as I was saying before I was _rudely_ interrupted by mister smart-ass," she paused and pretended to frown again, "we were having a good time. And then Cristina grabbed my arm and was like "you're damp" and I was a bit confused and thought I'd spilt my drink or something but then she said again more forcefully, "you're leaking" and that's when I realised. I feed Lily at like seven-thirty everyday, I'm in a routine except today I didn't follow the routine and I forgot that my breasts don't forget… and then George and Alex and Izzie realised and Alex sniggered and George looked really embarrassed and Izzie looked like she _felt sorry for me_! And I guess I could've dealt with those three, but Cristina…" She paused, tears threatening to fall again, "Cristina looked disgusted with me Derek! She didn't see Meredith, she saw a stupid, p-pathetic mum who c-c-can't control her b-body… an-an-and it was horrible! M-my p-person Derek, MY PERSON! And I just ran here c-c-cos I kn-knew you'd b-be here!" And her crying restarted as she relived the embarrassment of the evening again and Derek just held and comforted her like he always did. He prided himself on being able to do just that, he knew Meredith and he knew that she let few people in; he was happy to know that he was one of the lucky ones because when she did open up you got mind, heart and soul; everything and to him she was like sunshine. So when he saw her so distraught he felt determined to make everything better for her.

"Hey, shhhhhhhhh, I thought we'd shed all our tears? Just slow down sweetheart, slow deep breaths yeah?"

"S'easy for you to say, you're not the hormonal, leaking woman who can't stop crying!"

"Well I happen to love hormonal, crying, leaking women. I just also love it when they breathe," he winked at her, earning him a small tired smile from Meredith, "And I think I know how to make this particular hormonally, crying, leaking woman feel _much_ better." He grinned mischievously at her and stood up, still holding her and whatever Meredith said about being fat, she was still alarmingly light… He carried her over to his desk and sat her down on it, still smiling.

"First of all, I think we should remove this very damp top," he said taking the hem and lifting it. Meredith didn't raise her arms though, just eyed him nervously. He let go of her top and kissed her deeply,

"Trust me Mer…" and she looked at him one last time before removing her top herself. He ran his hands over her shoulders, they were warm and relaxing and she felt a little better.

"My bra is completely soaked too…" Meredith muttered, still watching him, "Should I take that off too?" Derek's eyes widened and he nodded slowly. She moved her arms behind her back and was about to undo the clasp when his hands stopped her.

"No. Let me," and he reached behind her to unclasp the bra, lifting the straps off her and releasing her swollen breasts. "Beautiful he breathed, looking her in awe. She shivered, nerves and desire coursing through her. She took his left hand and placed it on her breast where he cupped it gently, gazing into her eyes, before kissing her again. Her hands went to his hair as the kissing became more forceful. He pulled back, lips swollen and his eyes dark and lustful for the woman in front of him. He kissed her gently and whispered,

"Let me taste you..." Meredith looked a little unsure, "Derek I…" but before she knew it his head was bent and her right nipple was in his mouth, his tongue teasing her, making her tremble. And then he was sucking and oh how wonderfully glorious that felt! Derek lifted his face away and smiled.

"You taste sweet," and he kissed her deeply again, his hands massaging her breasts. His hands travelled further though, across her stomach where they stroked gently, down to her jeans but they were stopped by Meredith's small hands. She looked up at him, her eyes still desperately unsure and nervous and he hated that, he needed to make her feel better about herself because whatever she said, Meredith was still as gorgeous as she was all those years ago when they first met at Joe's. So he kissed her and pulled away and stroked her cheek gently.

"Please Meredith, trust me…" She slowly nodded and released her hands and she leaned back on the desk. She watched him slowly unbutton her jeans, his eyes never leaving hers for a second and he pulled them down gently and discarded them on the floor of his office along with her soaked clothing. His fingers lingered on the edge of her panties before plunging inside straight to her wetness. She threw her head back and moaned, arching into his touch; it really had been far too long!

"Derek…that feels s-ahh!" She was cut off by a gasp as his fingers increased their pressure, slowly rubbing circles on her most sensitive spot and he moved forward, bending his head, his lips seeking out her own. She kissed him with fury, one hand leaving the desk and running it through his hair and her hips moving forward into his touch. She could feel the pressure building, she wouldn't last long she was sure, his fingers reducing her to a trembling wreck of desire and desperation. And then she was thrown into ecstasy, moaning into Derek's mouth has her orgasm over came her. She eventually calmed and breathed raggedly, and leaned her head against his, his hands stroking her thighs.

He grinned at her lasciviously, "Feel better now?"

"Much! That was… oh god I can't even think straight!" She bit her lip and looked at him, "Doesn't seem fair though, that you're still dressed whilst I'm naked on your desk…" She said sultrily.

"Oh really? And what do propose we do to rectify the situation?"

"Take your pants off." Meredith's blunt reply threw him and it broke the tension completely and he couldn't help it, he just threw his head back and laughed. His laugh was infectious and Meredith found herself giggling and then they were both laughing together and Derek pulled her into a tight embrace.

"God I love you Mer, more than you'll ever know..." He laughed again, "Take my pants off indeed!"

"What? I was being serious Der, it has been a while you know…" And suddenly the tension returned to the room. She looked up at him, eyes wide and sparkling and she pulled his head down to kiss her. Her hands went to Derek's lab coat, pulling at the sleeves and breaking the kiss for a second, he willingly removed it himself. They resumed kissing and her hands found themselves at the top of his scrubs and he paused for a second, his eyes seeking out her own, silently begging her to continue. She pulled them down gently and he gasped as he was exposed. Fully aroused, she gently stroked his length up and down, kissing him gently, her tongue teasing his but not for long, his hands stopped her,

"If you do that for much longer I'm going to finish before we even start," Derek breathed into her mouth. Meredith giggled and nodded and then kissed him again. He grabbed her arms and put them around his neck and put his on her hips, positioning himself at her entrance. He looked at her again one last time and then he pushed into her. They both moaned loudly and he felt like was going to finish there and then. He breathed deeply and began to start a rhythm and Meredith was surprised to find that it didn't hurt the way she expected it to; sex with Derek felt so, so good and she missed it. His thrusts became more erratic as he neared his climax and she could feel hers building. She rocked her hips back and forth, edging herself even closer and then he pushed one last time and she was coming hard and it was enough to throw Derek into his own orgasm.

Derek pulled out and picked Meredith up and sat them down in his desk chair. her close in the curve of his body and cradled her breast for a moment before turning her head to face him and kissed her deeply.

"We _definitely_ need to do that more often," he said with heartfelt conviction, "You are without a doubt the most sexiest and gorgeous woman alive."

Meredith laughed but he still felt her stiffen and he held her more closely and kissed her hair.

"I'm not judging you Mer," Derek began softly, "I know having a baby makes everything different and I wouldn't change that for the world, you know that. But I have missed being this intimate with you, you're really hot you know…" he laughed at the end and she smiled.

"I've missed it too Der… I have. And I know it's been a long time, it's just I'm so tired all the time and I want to be intimate I do, I just-"

"You just need to time to readjust yourself. I get that. I love you Meredith, sex or no sex, you're it for me. I love you and Lily more than anything, don't ever forget that." She smiled and leaned back against him.

"I love you too Derek."

They sat for a while like before, forgetting the world outside the office but undoubtedly the world didn't forget them. A loud knock at the door and a loud shout from Mark interrupted the silence and brought them both back to reality.

"Derek! You in there?"

"Yeah!" Derek shouted back, "What d'you need Mark?"

"Well aside from a consult, the whole surgical floor is talking about you disappearing over an hour ago with your fiancé. I thought you ought to know... that and these walls aren't exactly sound proof…" He chuckled, "You coming out anytime soon?"

"Give us a minute," and he stood up and started getting dressed, "Meredith I'm really sorry but I don't think I can be AWOL for much longer…" He smiled at her and watched her pull her jeans back on. He grabbed his lab coat and turned around and found her standing topless looking lost.

"Mer? I don't think you can walk out of here like that…"

She snapped out of whatever place she had been and looked at him, "Damp bra and top Derek, damp bra and top."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

"Wait, I've got an idea," and he went to the door and opened it a crack. He found Mark's face in front of him, peering in through the door, "Mark! Not so close!"

"Sorry, couldn't help but be curious," He smirked, "You ready?"

"Not yet. Do me a favour?"

"Depends what it is."

"Grab me a new pair of scrubs?"

"Derek that's disgusting, you could've at leas-"

"Not for me you ass, Meredith!"

"Oh..." He raised an eyebrow but Derek's expression suggested that teasing wasn't a good idea. "Okay, yeah. Back in a few." And he turned round and walked down the corridor. Derek shut the door and turned back to Meredith who had crossed her arms over her chest.

"Thanks Derek," she smiled at him. "Want me to pick Lily up before I leave? I can put her to bed then."

"Okay, you do that," he smiled and hugged her close. He cherished being alone with Meredith, just holding her, inhaling her flowery scent. It was home to him. There was another loud knock and Derek reluctantly pulled out of the hug. He walked over to the door and opened it like before.

"Scrubs."

"Thanks, be out in a sec." He shut the door and chucked the scrubs to Meredith who pulled on the scrub top quickly. She gathered up her damp clothing and tucked it under her arm.

"Guess we'd better head out huh?" She grinned at him.

"Indeed. I'll see you in a few hours okay?"

"Okay." He kissed her chastely and then hurried out the door, no doubt to a barrage of questions from Mark. Meredith stood there for a few minutes, running her tongue over her lips, savouring his taste. She smiled to herself and walked over to the door, turned the lights off and stepped outside into the corridor.

**So there we go, hopefully you all enjoyed :) Thank you to everyone that reviewed last time! And any more reviews are welcome ;) xxxx**


	4. Friends

**Right so here is chapter 4 and it's happy because let's face it, we all like the happy (even if Shonda doesn't!). Things are going to be happy for a while but I will say this: the happy is going to be broken in a few chapters... So enjoy the happy while you can :) Thank you again to everyone that reviewed last time, you guys are why I'm writing this so it's nice to know people like my story :) And with that, bring on chapter 4!**

Meredith picked up Lily and left the hospital. By the time they reached home she was fast asleep and Meredith couldn't help but smile at her. She looked so peaceful tucked up, her dark hair was mussed and her hands were curled into tiny fists, _tiny ineffectual fists_ as Derek described them. Chuckling, Meredith carefully lifted the car seat with her dozing daughter and locked the car and walked up the drive to her home. She was so distracted fiddling with her keys and trying to balance Lily that she failed to realise that there was a car already in her drive and four people were sat on her doorstop, carrier bags resting beside them. When she did realise she stopped dead in her tracks and stared at them nonplussed. George, Izzie, Alex and Cristina stood up quickly and stepped aside for her so she could open the door. Meredith didn't say anything, just walked silently into the house and the young residents followed her into the open plan kitchen living area. Setting Lily down, she turned around and found her friends staring at her.

"What?" Meredith said defensively, breaking the awkward silence that had fallen on them. Cristina was nudged forward by Izzie who gave her a nod and George coughed. She looked up at Meredith feeling unsure of herself.

"Um…we wanted to make sure you were okay… and you are so let's go guys, she's okay! I bet she doesn't even want us here…" Cristina started to turn but was blocked. She sighed and turned around again, looking at the floor.

"And well, we wanted to say sorry. For making you leave like you did. Well me and Alex mainly. We're sorry Mer, _I'm_ sorry…" She said quietly. She looked up at Meredith and found her smiling and she breathed a sigh of relief and ran a hair through her unruly hair.

Meredith was silent for a moment, processing the situation and then spoke quietly. "I'm sorry too… I shouldn't have run out like that, it's just I felt overwhelmed…" she paused and looked directly at Cristina, "and you were looking at me strangely…"

"S'okay Mer, we get it, _she_ gets it," Izzie piped in, glaring at Cristina, who looked sheepishly at the floor again. "Joe's probably wasn't the best place to go for our "first" night out."

"My idea, sorry Mer, I've been a bad 'person'," Cristina offered a small smile.

"And I'm sorry I laughed Mer, not cool…" Alex said sheepishly.

"Meredith, we thought maybe we could finish the evening here?" George said nervously, "We bought snacks…" and he gestured to the grocery bags they were holding, "Well, us three brought snacks… Alex brought beer." He glared at Alex who glared back.

"It's non-alcoholic!"

"You still brought beer Alex."

"Well you guys practically bought all the crappy food in the market, I figured we'd need something to wash it all down..."

"But beer?!"

"Like I said, it's non-alcoholic!"

"Just shut up a minute!" Alex and George snapped out of their bickering and all four of them turned to Meredith, "You guys came over to check I was okay, even though I'm a hormonal mother with wet boobs AND you brought snacks?"

"Er yeah…" Cristina replied.

"Okay." Meredith grinned, "I'll just put Lily to bed then? You guys can set up down here…" And she lifted her still sleeping daughter out from her car seat and cradled her against her chest, inhaling her soft baby scent. She started to walk towards the hall but as she passed her friends, Cristina grabbed her arm and turned her towards them.

"For the record Mer," Cristina said smiling, "We don't care that you have a screaming brat or wet boobs... Plus Barbie is way worse on her period so the hormones thi- HEY!" Izzie punched Cristina hard on the shoulder and glared.

"What Cristina meant to say is that we're your friends, we don't care. Tonight was just unfortunate. But we'll move on from the unpleasantness and embrace the bright and shiny future," Izzie smiled cheesily.

"That sounds good Iz, and Cristina?"

"Yeah Mer?"

"She's not a screaming brat all the time…" Cristina laughed and Meredith left them in her living room making her way up the oak stair case to Lily's room. She flicked the light on and walked over to the changing table where she undressed Lily, her blue eyes watching Meredith with curiosity. Once she was in her sleep suit, Meredith picked her up and hugged her close, whispering softly as she walked over to the cot.

"Mummy was so happy that she got to put you to bed. Yes she was," Meredith smiled, "You're mummy's little angel aren't you? And she loves you lots and lots." She placed Lily in her cot and tucked her up. She was asleep in an instant and Meredith bent down and kissed her head softly.

"Night poppet, I'll see you soon." Meredith turned off the lights and walked back downstairs and found her friends arguing over what they should watch on TV. George sat on the sofa, his eyes switching between Alex, Cristina and Izzie as they debated the merits of "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and surgical tapes.

"Izzie, I'm not watching that." Cristina said determinedly, her hands on her hips.

"But Cristina it's a _classic_!"

"I don't give a damn. I am not watching you get gooey eyes over Mr I've-got-floppy-hair-but-can't-talk-in-coherent-sentences." Cristina turned to Meredith who had joined George on the sofa, "And Meredith, why do you even own this crap? I thought you were all dark and twisty, I expected Hitchcock films, _I expected Psycho!_"

"Um..."

"Actually, I don't think I even wanna know." She returned her attention to Izzie, "We're not watching that Izzie. Not when we have blood and guts and surgeries on tape."

"I've got to agree with Yang Iz… that film is just kinda, well," Alex scratched his head, "Bland."

"Bland?! You find the troubles of love _bland_ Alex? People connect in this film, they get married, one of them even _dies_ and you find that bland?!" She looked at both Cristina and Alex seriously, "You guys need to get in touch with your hearts, only a heartless person would describe this _masterpiece_ as bland."

"You see that right there Izzie, that is exactly why we're _not_ watching that film. You're too involved with it and it's not even started."

"But…"

"Guys seriously!" George's outburst silenced them and they turned their attention to him and Meredith, "You guys are fighting and there really isn't any point… It's Meredith's house and seeing as we're here for _her_," he paused frowned at them and then looked to Meredith, "I think we should let Meredith decide." Meredith smiled at him whilst the other three just nodded obediently in agreement.

"Fine."

"Whatever."

"Surgery here I come!" Cristina high fived the air and Izzie frowned at her. "What? She's clearly not gonna choose McDreamy no.2 over heart valve replacements."

"Actually Cristina…" Meredith looked guiltily at Cristina, who opened her mouth in disbelief.

"Oh you've gotta be kidding me… Hugh Grant? Seriously Mer? What is it with you and guys with floppy hair? I get Derek, he's got the eyes and the hair but he's also a surgeon! A surgeon, who handles organs. And blood!"

"I know but the film _is_ cute…blame the hormones or something but whatever, I'm in the mood for cute." She nodded and grinned cheekily at them all, "That okay everyone?" George and Alex shrugged and Izzie clapped her hands and grabbed the DVD and went over to the TV. Cristina just sighed tiredly.

"Fine whatever. But if you start crying our friendship is over okay?" She slumped down next to Meredith and crossed her arms.

"Okay," Meredith giggled, catching George's eye, sending him into laughter as well. Izzie, having finished setting everything up deposited herself on Alex's lap, who was sat in one of the arm chairs. The opening credits started and Izzie squeaked in excitement; Cristina rolled her eyes.

"This is going to be a _long_ evening…"

* * *

A few hours later when Derek came home at almost 1 o'clock he was surprised to find chatter coming from the living room. He walked in and was amused to find Cristina and Izzie arguing something about floppy hair and accents. Meredith, George and Alex remained silent, not daring to get involved, their faces dancing with amusement as they watched their friends discussed the pros and cons of Hugh Grant.. 

"His hair is not stupid Cristina, it's tasteful. Plus don't you just want to run your hands through it?"

"No Iz I don't. I much prefer shorter hair. Something a bit more masculine, a hairstyle that doesn't remind me of a stupid British actor. His hair is like Derek's and I'm sorry Mer," she paused to look at Meredith, "But his hair is pretty stup-Dr Shepherd!" Cristina was thrown when Derek walked into the room and over to the kitchen area, eyes twinkling. He bent down and kissed Meredith's forehead on the way and deposited his briefcase on the island block.

When no one said anything he smiled and said, "So Dr. Yang, who're we talking about?"

"Er no one, no one at all." She looked hastily at her watch, "Geez is that the time? I have rounds in 5 hours, we _really_ ought to get going guys!" And she stood up hastily, left the room and they heard the front door slam. Izzie stood up off Alex and stretched and offered her hand to pull him up. Meredith and George stood up together and she walked all of them to her front door. Alex and Izzie hugged her and walked to the car, yawning and leaning against each other but George waited for a moment.

"Hey Meredith?" He said quietly, "You're okay right? I mean after what happened at Joe's and stuff…"

"I'm more than okay George," Meredith smiled, "_I'm_ bright and shiny!" They both laughed. Then Meredith turned to him seriously and quietly said:

"I really am fine. Thanks though George, for well," she thought for a moment, "For being George."

"S'okay Mer, s'what I do best afterall," He smiled and then hugged her, briefly but he held her tight.

"See you Mer," and he walked outside, running up to the car when Cristina tooted at him. Meredith watched them pull out of the driveway and then shut the front door. She walked into the kitchen where Derek was rifling through their flavoured tea-bags. She went up to him and put her arms around his waist and rested her face on his back. He dropped the tea bags and wrapped his arms around hers.

"My friends are awesome, you know that Derek?"

"I had a feeling," he chuckled, "So things weren't so bad?"

"No, they weren't. Cristina thinks I'm weird for liking Hugh Grant but I think I can deal with that." Derek turned around and pulled her into a hug, resting his head on top of hers.

"Is my hair really stupid?"

"No!" She paused, "Well, some do refer to it as "overly-moussed," they both laughed then, "But I like it, that's all that matters right?" She grinned up at Derek who bent down and kissed her softly.

"That's all that matters. I love you Meredith," he said looking into her eyes.

"Love you too Derek, even if your hair is "overly-moussed…"

**So that was chapter 4, what do you guys think? Please read and review, feedback is much appreciated (and needed!) :)**


	5. Saturday morning

**Right so we have some more Shepherd family fluff. I can't help it I'm afraid, I love it when Meredith and Derek are happy, it makes _me_ happy so I like to write about it. This story has served as an excellent procrastination tool, I've written up to chapter 9 so expect more soon. Be warned though, it is going to get angsty... for now though we're "bright and shiny", enjoy!**

A few days later everything was seemingly back to normal. It was a Saturday morning and Meredith and Derek were enjoying each other's company in bed as it was his day off. Apart from feeding Lily, they had been uninterrupted and as it neared 10 o'clock, they were sat doing the crossword together. They were still both tucked underneath the duvet; Derek sat upright resting against his back against the pillows and Meredith was curled up next him, head on his shoulder, feet entwined with his. Every so often she would run her arms over his chest and inhale his musky scent. They had been silent for a while, Derek had continued ahead with the crossword without Meredith. He chewed the pencil and scratched his head and then glanced down at Meredith who was staring out the window, looking blissfully happy and peaceful. An idea popped into his head and he broke the comfortable silence they had settled in.

"Four letter word for "hot"?" Derek asked. Meredith turned her attention from looking outside to him and thought for a moment.

"Um, warm?" Meredith replied, starting to gaze out the window again but she turned back and said, "Hey that was kinda easy don't you think?"

"You're wrong." His eyes were light and teasing, amused at her surprised expression. Her mouth had fell open and she sat up, indignation scrawled across her face.

"What?! I am not!" She lunged for the paper and Derek pulled it out of her reach.

"Are too. Trust me, it's not "warm"." He looked at her seriously and leaned his face so it was only inches from her own, "The four letter word for "hot" is sexy…" and he kissed her deeply, his tongue teasing hers. He pulled her onto his lap, her legs wrapping around his waist as he deepened the kiss. Meredith pulled back, breathing heavily.

"You are the cheesiest man alive you know that?" She smirked at him and restarted their kissing.

"Yes but you like it when I'm cheesy," he said in between kisses, "I mean it though, you are incredibly sexy and hot…" His hands skirted up under her pyjama top to her chest where he started playing with her left nipple. "And _I_ want to take advantage of my incredibly sexy and hot fiancé, is that okay?" He teased her whilst pinching her nipple, making her gasp. She nodded and kissed him hard. He stopped teasing her and pushed her back on to the bed and pulled her pyjamas down in one swift motion. He pulled his own down and leant across the bed and retrieved a condom from his bedside table.

Ripping open the packet, he rolled it on and entered Meredith hard. She screamed out and Derek kissed her, feeling her moan deep into his throat. He began a rhythm and her breathing became more and more ragged, her moans increasingly desperate. Neither were going to last long, every time she clenched around him he was pushed further and further to the edge.

"Der… need to…ahh!" She moaned, her hips pushing against his as she tried to quicken her own release. His mouth found hers and he kissed her, whispering into her mouth.

"Shh… I know, me too…" and he quickened his pace, pushing harder and harder until he felt Meredith tighten around him, moaning loudly as her orgasm took over her body. It was enough to send Derek into his own and he released into her, groaning in pleasure. He slumped on top of her, both sticky with sweat and breathing heavily. He pulled out of her and moved over onto his back and pulled Meredith on top of him, his hands running underneath her top again, rubbing her slick back. She buried her head in her favourite spot, just under his jaw.

"Mmmmmm that was amazing Derek…" she kissed his neck, "Thank you for waiting for me…"

"Mer, I'd wait forever, you know that." They lay together for a while; Meredith's soft breathing tickling Derek's neck. Eventually Meredith sat up straddling him and he grinned up at her.

"What is it Mer?"

"I think we should get up Derek." She replied seriously.

"Why?"

"Because I need to shower. And you need to shower. And we're going out later today, remember?" He thought for a moment and then groaned; he'd forgotten that they were having lunch with Addison and Mark.

"Do we have to go Mer?"

"He's your best friend and she's your ex-wife and also your friend. And Mark and I haven't been ex-dirty mistresses together in a really long time, and Addie is one of my best friends and Addie is nice Derek. Nice. None of my friends are "nice". I like nice." She looked pleadingly at him, "They invited us over to theirs for lunch because we haven't seen them in ages. It'll be fun Derek and we'll be sociable. Sociable is good. We don't want to be one of those couples that only have time for each other." She mock glared at him, hands on her hips. She looked very cute but was impossible to take seriously and having no pants on didn't help. He looked at her and gave her his trademark McDreamy eyes but she was having none of it. Meredith jumped off of him and on to the floor.

"Come on Derek, get up! Up!" and she grabbed his hand and pulled him and he couldn't help but laugh. He resisted for a moment but then reluctantly swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood up in front of her.

"Alright, I'm up, happy?" He asked looking down at her.

"Very." And she kissed his cheek and walked into the bathroom calling over her shoulder, "And don't even think about joining me in the shower. _You _can go get Lily ready!" He heard the door lock and he chuckled to himself. He picked his pyjama trousers up off the floor and walked out of their room down the hall to his daughters room, thinking about how lucky he was to have Meredith in his life.

* * *

An hour later and all three were in the kitchen making breakfast. Or at least Meredith and Derek were. Lily was sat in her bouncer watching her parents through her big blue eyes. Meredith had giggled when she saw what Derek had dressed her in. She was dressed in a pink floral dress with a pretty white blouse and had matching pink socks to go with her outfit. A knitted pink cardigan, booties and mittens made by Derek's mother were waiting on top of Lily's changing bag for when they left. Whereas Meredith would be happy leaving her in a playsuit, Derek, the proud daddy that he was, insisted she be dressed up for their outing. He had though accepted that the knitted bonnet was a bit much and it laid discarded in Lily's room. 

Meredith sat at the table watching Derek cook pancakes. He turned and caught her eye and she blew him a kiss making him chuckle. She stood up and walked over to him.

"Need me to do anything Der? I'm bored watching you…"

"Nope, go sit your pretty little self back on that chair and wait." She pouted at him but did as she was told. A few minutes later and a stack of pancakes was placed in front of her and a pot of coffee was set down. She licked her lips and grabbed the maple syrup and poured it over her pancakes. Derek sat down opposite her with his own pancakes and laughed, Meredith really was adorable. He watched her take a bite and shut her eyes in pleasure.

"Oh god these are good! Practically orgasmic! You need to be home more often to cook." Meredith looked at him seriously.

"Or I could teach you?" Derek replied digging into his own breakfast, "It's not hard Mer."

"Derek you remembered what happened last time with the sandwich maker. That's not even cooking and I still messed it up."

"Meredith anyone could've shut the lead inside accidentally…"

"Derek, I caused a power cut."

"Minor details." He grinned at her, "The point is that you shouldn't let one incident put you off for life. Let me teach you, please?" She looked at him, his eyes kind and pleading. How could she say no?

"Alright…but if I start a fire you can't yell."

"Okay."

"Or if I break stuff."

"Okay."

"Or if I chop one of your fingers off by accident."

"Er…"

"Derek!"

"Alright I won't yell!" He laughed at her and then paused for thought, "You know who's an amazing cook?" Meredith looked at him, _he wants something_ she thought; it was all in the eyes.

"Who?" She replied cautiously, "Who's an amazing cook?"

"My mother…I was thinking maybe we could spend Christmas with her?"

"What?!" She stared incredulously at him, "How did we go from me learning to cook to spending the holidays with your mother?" She eyed him suspiciously, "You planned this entire conversation didn't you?"

"Maybe… but come on Mer… she'd love us there, she adores you. Plus Lily's first Christmas should be spent with family…"

"So you're saying my family aren't good enough?!" She put her fork down and crossed her arms, glaring at him.

"Meredith you know that's not what I meant. I love your friends, you know that. But we spent Christmas with them last year and they'll see Lily all the time once your back at the hospital. My family live in Connecticut Mer, that's on the other side of the country. Lily deserves to spend as much time with them as we can give her. Please Mer…" He looked pleadingly at her and held out his hand and she gave it to him reluctantly.

"You know I hate you right? I hate that you make me say yes to _anything_ just by using those blue eyes…" Meredith frowned and he beamed at her, kissing her hand.

"That's a yes then?" He said hopefully.

"That's a yes Derek. But under no circumstances are you to leave me alone with the Shepherd women, they scare me…" She said, unable to withhold a giggle. It was the truth though; his sisters and mother were a little intimidating, perfectly lovely, but still intimidating. Meredith blamed the eyes. The entire family had the same piercing blue eyes.

"Alright Mer, I'll stick by your side for the whole thing. Promise."

"Okay then." She hesitated for a moment and a frown crept back on to her face, "Wait a minute, Derek, I'll have only been back at work for a couple weeks… there is no way I'm gonna be able to get the time off!"

"Ah, well…"

"Derek Shepherd, just how long have you been planning this?!"

"Long enough to have secured us both a week off and book flights?" He said sweetly.

"What?! What if I'd said no?" Meredith said angrily

"Never an option Mer, I'm far too charming," Derek winked at her, dispersing some of her anger. _Damn it_, she thought, _I just can't stay mad at him!_

"Far too charming my ass… you're lucky you don't have coffee all over you right now." She glared at him and resumed eating her breakfast.

He smiled adoringly at her, "For that I can only be grateful." She looked up at him and smiled back. "Seriously though, thank you for saying yes Mer, it means a lot to me."

"It's fine Derek. I don't really mind," she grinned at him, "Just next time don't spring it on me during breakfast!"

* * *

Once they had finished breakfast, Derek went over to his daughter and removed her from the bouncer, slung her over his shoulder and joined Meredith who was sat on the sofa reading the newspaper. He loved days like this when it was just the three of them, nothing made him happier. He was still in awe of his daughter, there were days when Derek couldn't believe she was his. Lily was a beautiful child, just like her mother. Dark blue eyes and soft, milky white skin and her soft hair was just beginning to curl. When they went out together people would stop and tell them how pretty she was and his heart swelled with pride knowing that he and Meredith had created something so gorgeous and perfect. Thinking about this, Derek lifted his tiny daughter from his shoulder and kissed her head before balancing Lily on his knee, his hands supporting her back. 

"You're daddy's little princess aren't you? Yes you are! And daddy loves you lots and lots," he tickled her neck, earning him a smile, "Did Miss Lily like that? Does she like it when daddy tickles her?" He tickled her again and she gurgled happily. Meredith glanced up from her newspaper and watched him play with their daughter. Derek noticed and turned, holding Lily so they were both facing her.

"I think mummy's jealous princess," he grinned at Meredith who shook her head amusedly, laughing at him. He didn't say anything to his fiancé but continued talking to Lily, "Lily, I think mummy is laughing at us now, what do you think?" He lifted Lily to his ear and pretended to nod, "You think she needs to be tickled huh? I think so too," and he lunged at Meredith, Lily in his right arm as his left attempted to tickle Meredith. She batted his hand away laughing and he smiled at her and stopped, instead shuffling closer so Meredith could lean against him. He passed Lily to Meredith who snuggled the infant against her chest and Derek wrapped his arms around them both, inhaling his two favourite girls' flowery scent.

"What time are we expected at Addison and Mark's?" He spoke softly.

"About 1.30." Meredith replied quietly so as not to disturb Lily, who was drifting off to sleep against her.

"So we've got time?"

"We've got time." She turned her face from her daughter and looked up at Derek, "Love you Der," she smiled.

"Love you too sweetheart," and he kissed her forehead and they sat peacefully together just savouring each other's company.

**Did you like it? Please read and review :)  
**


	6. Lunch with the Sloanes

**Right so this chapter is loooong. Next chapter is better :) At least by my writing standards. Not much to note here other than I hope you enjoy it :)  
**

"Remind me again why we're here?" Derek said as they got into the lift of Addison and Mark's apartment block. Derek was carrying Lily in her car seat and Meredith had her changing bag slung over one shoulder. She sighed and pushed the button for the fourth floor and the doors closed in front of them.

"Because I've not seen Addison since your family came to visit and that was under desperate circumstances. I miss her Derek; she's different to my other friends. Plus we already discussed this, we're asking them both to be godparents, that's not something we can just make a phone call about is it? Besides, it's not like I'm forcing you to have lunch with people you hate, they're Addison and Mark, aka your oldest friends. You're just being childish Derek." She leaned against him and he sighed, resting his head on top of hers, one arm snaking around her shoulders. Meredith was right; he was being childish. If he was honest, the reason he didn't want to be here is because he wanted Meredith all to himself. He only had one day a week off with her and Lily and his hours were long. It was different when they both worked at the hospital, he saw her intermittently throughout the day but now she was on maternity leave, every moment spent with her was precious.

The doors opened in front of them and they stepped out of elevator. Meredith strode ahead, calling to Derek as she walked down the corridor.

"You packed Lily's milk didn't you Deer?"

"Yeah, it's in the bag."

"Good good," Meredith stopped in front of her friends' door and rang the doorbell. The door opened and a familiar red head appeared in front of her.

"Addison!" Meredith opened her arms and hugged her friend.

"Meredith! I'm so glad you came!" Addison moved aside and welcomed Meredith into the apartment and Derek followed soon after holding Lily in her car seat. He kissed Addison on the cheek and handed her a bottle of wine.

"Sauvignon-Blanc for you Addie, I know how much you like it, to say thank you for having us over. Meredith has been really looking forward to this." He set Lily down on the floor, "She was saying only this morning how "nice" you are compared to her other friends…" They both laughed and Addison ran a hand through her hair.

"Thanks Derek." She smiled at him and bent down to speak to Lily. "And hello to you Miss Shepherd, I haven't seen you in a very very long time!" She looked back up at Derek, his eyes twinkling at her.

"Her eyes are just like yours Derek… she's gonna have all the boys hounding her!" She giggled at him.

"Don't say that Addie," he chuckled, "I can't imagine her being anything other than my little princess… she's not allowed to grow up, are you pumpkin?" He said picking her up off the floor. He turned his attention back to Addison and took a step forward.

"Anyway… as much as I love small talk in your doorway Addie, think we could move somewhere more comfortable?" Addison laughed and nodded, letting Derek past and shutting the front door.

She followed Derek into the living room where Mark and Meredith were chatting. Derek set Lily down and greeted his friend before sitting himself next to Meredith. Addison paused before she joined them thinking how strange it was that even after all that had happened between them, the four were able to be friends, and close ones too.

Three years ago, her marriage was in tatters and she and Derek were both miserable. Mark was hurt and Meredith had been cast aside as they had tried to repair their marriage but with no success; neither had been able to deny that their hearts lay with different people. Derek had taken a while to forgive Mark but he had eventually he embraced him on a level of friendship again; Addison had a sneaking suspicion that Meredith was partially responsible, something which she was eternally grateful for, especially as she was partially responsible for them fighting in the first place. But all past unpleasantness had been forgotten and the four of them were good friends. Smiling Addison sat next to her husband and joined the conversation.

"So Meredith, how are you?" Addison asked. "I've not seen you since the Shepherd family reunion!" She grinned at the memory of the entire Shepherd clan descending on Derek and Meredith to welcome the arrival of Lily. Meredith had frantically rung her up the night before and demanded she attend.

"I'm fine thanks, tired… really tired!" She laughed, "But happy. Lily is amazing; I never thought how much I'd enjoy being a mother." She looked down affectionately at Lily who was playing with her tiny feet.

"She's gorgeous Mer, spitting image of both of you," Mark said smiling before standing up, "And I have just realised none of us have drinks. Derek, care to gimme a hand?" Derek grinned and stood up next to his friend.

"Sure thing, what'll it be Mer?"

"Juice?"

"Juice is fine. Addie?"

"Whatever Mark's having, cheers guys," Addison smiled and turned her attention back to Lily and Meredith. Mark just shrugged and beckoned Derek to follow him into the kitchen muttering something about "women" and "babies" eliciting a laugh from Derek.

Back in the living room, Addison was cooing over Lily who was now smiling up at her. Addison tickled her under her chin and Lily grabbed her finger and stuck it in her mouth, making both women giggle.

"Can I hold her Meredith?" Addison asked and Meredith nodded happily.

"Of course Addie, you helped deliver her! Go ahead; I'm sure she'll enjoy a cuddle from her Aunt Addison." Addison nodded gratefully and carefully unbuckled Lily from her car seat and lifted Lily out and held her close.

"She really is gorgeous Mer… I have to say I'm a little jealous." She rubbed Lily's back as the infant gurgled against her chest. "Me and Mark, we're trying… and at the moment it's not going so well…" She looked down at the floor. "I think that's why he left so abruptly with Derek… he's taking it really hard. I think he believes it's his fault, he's not been himself in over a week…" Meredith moved to sit next to her friend and put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Oh Addie it will happen, it will. You of all people know it can take a while for things to happen." Addison looked back up at Meredith and smiled weakly.

"I guess so… it's just I'm worried you know? I'm 40, the chances of me getting pregnant are slim, I get that… I just want a child so much!" She paused and then said quietly, "It's been six months since we've started trying Meredith, six months. There is something wrong I'm sure, we went for tests last week…"

"And?"

"Nothing, we haven't heard back yet, find out in a couple weeks. I'm dreading it. What if we can't have children Meredith, what if it's too late? What if I can't carry a baby? What if I can't give Mark a child?" Addison looked sadly at Meredith who shook her head determinedly.

"No Addison you can't think like that. You've got to stay positive. You're going to get pregnant and you're going to give Lily here a playmate. Okay?" She smiled at Addison who sighed and nodded back.

"Okay." She took a deep breathe, "Thanks Meredith." She wiped her eyes, surprised to see that there were tears there. Meredith grabbed her handbag and offered Addison a tissue, taking Lily from her whilst she blew her nose and wiped her eyes.

"No need for thanks Addie, you're my friend and friends are there for each other." She gripped Addison's hand in a gesture of support and then looked down at Lily. "Now, I think Lily would like to go back to her Aunt Addie because her hug was cut short, wasn't it princess?" She giggled and handed the little girl back to the red head who hugged her close. A few minutes later, Derek and Mark returned with a tray of drinks, chatting about a fishing trip they were planning for later in the year. Derek handed Meredith a glass of orange juice and sat down beside her with a beer. Mark sat next to Addie holding two beers and gave her one of them and clinked the bottle necks together.

"Cheers everyone." He said and the other 3 nodded in agreement, repeating his sentiments. They started chatting; catching up with everything they had missed. Or that Meredith had missed. Not being at the hospital had put her out of the loop and whilst Derek was up to speed, he was useless at telling her news. Throughout the conversation he had several punches to his arm and several exclamations of "Oh my god I can't believe you didn't tell me that!" Aside from Addison telling Meredith privately about her and Mark's hopes to conceive, they told her about a house they were looking at and Mark's plans to leave Seattle Grace and start his own practice. Meredith had frowned upon hearing this; the hospital wouldn't be the same without him and when she saw Derek and Addison's expressions, she could see tell they agreed too.

"Why would you want to leave Mark? What can private practice offer you that Seattle Grace doesn't?"

"I just don't think working in a hospital is for me anymore Mer…" He looked at his beer. Derek and Addison looked awkwardly at each other but didn't say anything.

"Why?"

"I just don't… can we drop this? I've not even decided whether I'm going to leave, I'm just considering it. Anyway, me thinking about leaving the hospital isn't why you two are here," he looked at Derek and Meredith changing the subject abruptly. "You're here to eat lunch. Addie, when did we order the food?"

"About forty minutes ago baby, should be here soon." Addison looked down at Lily and found that she had gone to sleep against her. Mark looked at her and then looked at the floor. Addison sighed; Mark's strange behaviour was wearing her down. She got up and lifted Lily carefully and placed her in Derek's outstretched arms. At that very moment the doorbell rang and Mark jumped up to answer the door. He paid and walked into the kitchen and Addison followed him, catching Meredith's eye as she left the room, shouting "We'll be back with food" over her back. Derek and Meredith were left alone in awkward silence.

"That was weird. It's not just me is it, Mark _is_ acting weird?" Derek asked turning to face Meredith.

"He's acting weird Derek but just leave it yeah? They're both going through a rough patch at the moment." Meredith sighed and rested her head on Derek's shoulder.

"Wait a minute Mer, how do you know that? You've not spoken to Addie in ages and Mark doesn't share feelings with anyone, not even me." He looked at her curiously for a moment. She stared back and frowned.

"I don't think I should say anything Derek… it's not my place to." He frowned back at her, an annoyed expression pasted across his face.

"What d'you mean you can't say anything? They're our friends Meredith, and I'm your fiancé. That means we share things."

"I know that Derek and I want to, I do. I just don't know if I should." He looked at her, hurt written across his features. Meredith felt guilty; she knew he hated it when he thought she was keeping secrets from him. She cupped Derek's cheek and kissed him gently before pulling away and looking at him.

"Okay Derek, I'll tell you. Not here though alright?" She grinned, "Now you can stop with the wounded puppy eyes okay?" He nodded gratefully and returned her grin.

"Okay."

A few minutes later Addison and Mark walked into the living room each carrying two plates of Italian food. Derek lifted Lily off his chest and put her gently back in her car seat trying not to wake her. Mark handed him a plate of food and then sat down with his own. Addison handed Meredith her own plate of food and once again joined Mark.

"Mmmm this looks delicious! You guys have to give me the name of your take out place." She laughed and started eating greedily. Taking their cue from Meredith, the other three all dug into their food. The room fell silent for a while as they ate. Once she was finished eating, Meredith placed her plate on the coffee table and rested her hand on her stomach and groaned.

"Oh my god I am stuffed! I am going to get even fatter…" Derek swallowed his food and raised his eyebrows at her. He was about to say something but Addison got there before him.

"Er Mer, you're not fat."

"Oh but I am Addie, none of my old clothes fit me." She grabbed the minute bit of excess flesh on her stomach, the only indicator that she'd had a child. "Look at this, it's disgusting. I'm surprised Derek even finds me attractive…"

"Believe me Mer, from what I heard the other night, Derek still finds you attractive." All three turned to Mark, mouths open in shock, a large smirk on his face. Addison started hitting his arm and he cowered away from her.

"Addie stop!" Her raised arm fell and she put her hands on her hips.

"Mark Sloane, I thought we discussed this. You were not to mention office sex at any point this afternoon." She glared at him but he still didn't stop smiling.

"But Addie, she needed reassuring…"

"That is Derek's job Mark, not yours."

"Perhaps you're right... Forgive me?"

She smirked at him and shook her head, "_I'm_ not the one you should be asking forgiveness from." She cocked her head in the direction of Meredith and Derek, who looked very embarrassed.

"Derek and Meredith, I'm sorry I brought up you two having sex in Derek's office. It was done with the best intentions I swear." He looked seriously at them for a moment and then burst out laughing, sending the others into fits as well. The laughter broke whatever tension had filled the room and the four doctors struggled to gain composure. Unfortunately though their laughter also woke the sleeping Lily who, shocked by the sudden loud noise, started screaming her eyes out. Meredith snapped out of her laughter and immediately picked up her daughter, whose screams intensified.

Mark, Addison and Derek stopped laughing and watched her walk round the room, trying to calm her daughter down. When five minutes of back patting and rocking hadn't worked she sighed and turned around to face Derek, who had started talking to Addison and Mark about investments. She rolled her eyes at them all (she didn't understand them and she didn't want to) and coughed.

"Derek?"

"Yeah sweetheart?" Came his distracted reply.

"You want to help me here?"

"What?" He looked away from Mark and up at Meredith. "Oh yeah… What d'you need?"

"I think she's hungry, warm her bottle up for me?"

"Sure thing." He grabbed Lily's changing bag and looked at his friends, "One of you want to show me where your saucepans are so I can boil some water?" Mark was about to get up but Addison stopped him, "I'll help Derek." Mark and Meredith were left alone with the screaming Lily. Mark sighed and looked at Meredith.

"You know it's weird. I never pictured the dirty mistresses with kids Mer and look at you…" He smiled and patted the space next to him, inviting her to join him on the sofa. She walked over to him, Lily still crying, and sat down.

"Want to hold her?" She asked.

Mark looked at her, bewilderment spread across his features, "Me? I don't putting her in the arms of a plastic surgeon is gonna stop her crying…" He shook his head and looked at his hands.

"Might be good practice…Addie told me you guys are trying…" Meredith said softly. Mark's head shot up in surprise and he stared at her for a moment and then opened his mouth to speak.

"She told you huh?"

Meredith nodded, "Yeah."

"She wants to have a kid so much Mer… and truthfully, so do I. But I haven't given her one yet Mer and I feel like crap for that." He sighed, "You know why I want to move into private practice, truthfully? Because seeing her everyday hurts too much Mer, I'm reminded of how inadequate and useless I am every time I look at her. Those aren't things I'm used to feeling…" He looked at Meredith and found her looking at him sternly.

"Mark, I am going to hand Lily to you now and you are going snuggle her like the good Uncle that you are, that clear?" Before he could protest, the crying infant was thrust into his arms. "And now I am going to tell you something I bet you didn't know: Addie feels exactly the same way. She is so afraid, Mark, of not being able to give you child."

"She is?" Mark said softly.

"Uh-huh."

"Crap."

"Crap is right." Before Mark could ask Meredith more questions, Derek and Addison returned from the kitchen, a bottle of milk in hand. Addison was surprised to see Lily in Mark's arms, but she didn't say anything. Instead she sat down opposite him and Meredith. Derek gave the milk to Meredith and joined Addison. Mark was about to give Lily back Meredith but she stopped him.

"Why don't _you_ feed her Mark?" He just nodded and took the bottle silently from Meredith's outstretched hand. He had definitely cheered up since Derek and Meredith had arrived. Meredith looked at Addison who smiled and mouthed a silent "thank you". Lily soon quieted and relaxed in Mark's arms. He looked up at his best friend and smiled.

"Derek, you know how lucky you are?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Good, because if you mess with this, I will personally ensure that your ability to have more children is destroyed." His voice was teasing but they all knew that Mark was serious. Derek just nodded and smiled back at his friend, "I'll be sure I don't then."

"On that note Derek, I think we should ask them now…" Meredith winked at Derek who nodded. Mark and Addison looked between the two confusedly.

"Ask us what?" Addison asked, eying them both through beady eyes, "What is it?"

"Oh nothing," Derek said casually, "We were just wondering if you would like to be joint god-parents with Cristina and Burke…" He smirked at them both and was immediately pounced upon by Addison who swept him into a hug.

"Of course!" She said kissing his cheek, "I can't believe you waited this long to ask us, you guys are cruel!" Meredith laughed at her friend's reaction, glad that she had a smile on her face after earlier.

"We were waiting for the right time…" Meredith giggled and turned to Mark, who hadn't said anything. "Mark, are you okay with that?"

He turned to look at Meredith and his face broke into a massive smile, "I'd be honoured Mer, honoured." He winked at her, "Sides, this littl'un will need teaching in the ways of the dirty-mistress…" Derek stared at his friend in mock-horror.

"I think not Mark, you will not be responsible for corrupting my daughter." He laughed heartily, "She's going to remain a princess forever, you'll see!"

**So that was lunch with the Sloanes... Read and review?  
**


	7. Mirrors and Baths

**So fluff… it's what we all live for really isn't it? There wasn't much in the last chapter so that's why I've updated so quickly :) Hope you like…**

At five o'clock Meredith and Derek were in the car driving home. Lily was asleep and so was Meredith so the journey was silent. The sun was slowly setting over Seattle when Derek pulled off the main road and onto the track that led to their home. The house that they built on his land was a modest one, Meredith had insisted that it be simple and not "showy" and he was all too happy to oblige. He pulled into the drive and turned the engine off and looked across at his sleeping girlfriend. He didn't want to wake her, she looked so peaceful. Derek gently shook her and Meredith's eyes opened slowly. She yawned and stretched her arms and looked at him sleepily. He leant across and kissed her gently.

"We're home sleepy head, you and Lily have been out for about half an hour," he said quietly. Meredith nodded and undid her seatbelt and got out of the car and walked slowly towards the house waiting for Derek to follow with Lily. She unlocked the door and walked into the house, leaving the door open, and went into the living room and collapsed on the sofa. She heard the door slam and Derek appeared in the doorway. He walked over to Meredith and set Lily's car seat down at her feet and he lifted the little girl out and handed her gently to Meredith who snuggled her close. Meredith sighed happily, rubbing her baby's back and shutting her eyes. A year ago it was surgery that made her this happy, but just holding her daughter now brought her more pleasure than a scalpel ever had. Derek smiled at his fiancé and walked over to the kitchen and put the kettle on.

"Do you want tea Mer?" He asked opening the cupboard above his head pulling a mug out.

"That'd be amazing Der," came the reply and he chuckled, taking setting another mug down on the counter.

"Hey Derek?" Derek looked up from watching the kettle into the living room where Meredith was now standing, Lily still tucked up against her chest.

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"I'm gonna take a bath… bring my tea upstairs?" Meredith said persuasively.

He smiled at her and nodded, "Of course, go ahead. I'll be up a minute okay?"

"Okay." And she left the living room and climbed upstairs. She walked into the en suite bathroom, still holding Lily, and turned the taps on. She walked back into her room and laid Lily in the middle of the bed where she started to wriggle, making Meredith laugh.

"You're a little menace aren't you? You just can't keep still." Meredith said to her daughter who now had her fist in her mouth, "Well mummy is just going to undress and then you and her are going to have a lovely bath together, yes we are!" She reached across and tickled her daughter who smiled up at her mother. Meredith finished undressing and then carefully removed her daughter's clothing and nappy, which she disposed of hastily. She lifted her off the bed and walked into the bathroom, and making sure the water wasn't too hot, she stepped into the bath.

The warm water was soothing and Meredith slowly relaxed and leant back against the side of the tub, Lily nestled against her. After a few minutes Meredith lifted Lily from her shoulder and settled her against her chest and began to feed her daughter. She heard the bedroom door open and then Derek knocked on the door.

"It's open!" She called and Derek opened the door and came in and set a steaming mug of tea down beside Meredith.

"Just how you like it, milky with lots of sugar!" He chuckled, "Barely tastes like tea at all…" He kissed the top of her head and walked out of the bathroom, returning shortly with his own mug of tea and a book under his arm. It had become something of a routine for him and Meredith; she would sit in the tub with their daughter relaxing and he would be on the floor reading a book or the paper. Every so often he'd look up to watch his two girls and he'd smile and catch Meredith's eye who would smile back and say, "What're you looking at?" to which he'd reply "You."

Tonight he was in the middle of reading "Picture of Dorian Grey". He'd recently gotten interested in 19th century literature and Meredith had recommended Oscar Wilde's classic, remarking "An ego to finally match yours Derek," at which he'd laughed and accepted the book gratefully.

"Hey Der," Meredith began.

"Yeah Mer," Derek's attention still on the book in front of him.

"I think our daughter gets cuter every day, don't you think?" He looked up from the novel and found her beaming down at her daughter who was now sleeping. The sight warmed his heart and he nodded in agreement.

"I do Mer, I do." He put his book on the floor and stood over the bath, "Can I hold her Mer?" She nodded and he grabbed a towel from the rail and lifted his daughter out of the bath and wrapped Lily up carefully so as not to disturb her slumber.

"I'm gonna put her to bed okay Mer?"

"Go for it sweetheart, I'll be out of here in a bit."

"Okay Mer." Meredith shut her eyes and immersed herself under the water. She quickly rinsed her hair and got out of the bath, drying herself with a fluffy white towel. She left the bathroom and turned out the light and walked back into her bedroom. She dropped her towel on the bed and went over to the full length mirror in the corner and looked at herself with distaste. Her hand toyed with the excess flesh on her stomach and her fingertips dotted over the few silvery stretch marks that lingered there.

"You are so fat…" She said to herself tiredly, sighing.

"No you're not." Meredith turned around and saw Derek watching her, his arms folded, his face kind and sincere. He walked over to her and wrapped her in his arms, his head resting on her shoulder so they were both looking in the mirror.

"Meredith, you are gorgeous you understand? Absolutely gorgeous." He said seriously, catching her eye in the reflection.

"Derek, you don't have to keep saying that…" Meredith sighed looking away. She hated feeling vulnerable and self-conscious, her appearance hadn't been something she used to worry about. But having Lily had changed that and whilst she didn't for one moment regret her daughter, it didn't make her feel any better about herself.

"Yes I do because it's the truth Mer, and for some reason you don't want to believe it."

"Derek it's not true! It can't be; I don't look anything like I used to… I still don't understand why you want to have sex with me anymore! I have a flabby stomach and massive swollen boobs. Not sexy. Not sexy at all Derek." She frowned at him and he shook his head.

"You are gorgeous. To me you are gorgeous. Those things you described, they remind me of our daughter Mer; you've changed because we created a life together and there is nothing sexier to a man than the mother of his children, believe me." He cupped her left breast with his hand, still looking directly at her reflection. "I happen to adore your swollen breasts, they're heavier and softer and they make you curvy and cute," he massaged them gently and she smiled at him, feeling slightly turned on from watching him touch her in the mirror. His right hand snaked down to her stomach and stroked it gently.

"You say you're flabby, but you're not Mer. You're not. You're just a little rounder and that's sexy Mer, it's so damn sexy. I like voluptuous Meredith as much as I like skinny Meredith, perhaps even more so. Voluptuous Meredith makes me want to do this!" His hand plunged downwards straight into her wetness and he rubbed vigorously at her clitoris and she arched against him taken completely by surprise. Meredith moaned as she watched her reflection; he rubbed harder and the hand on her breast found the nipple and started rolling it between expert fingers, turning her on even more. She squirmed against him, feeling her knees weaken as he pressed harder on her clitoris and she jerked against his body, feeling his growing erection on her bare back.

Derek watched Meredith in the reflection and her eyes shut tight in pleasure. He watched her place her hands on top of this, pushing them harder against her and he felt himself increasingly turned on.

"Derek…" She moaned, her eyes still shut, "Kiss me Derek… ahh!" She gasped and he bent his head and found her mouth, his tongue mixing with hers. She kissed him with fury and he felt her moan into his mouth as she came. He turned her around and pulled her into a tight embrace as her breathing returned to normal.

"Believe that you're sexy and attractive yet?" He whispered against her ear.

"Mmmmmmmmm." She replied and kissed his chest. Meredith began to grind her hips against his and it was Derek's turn to moan.

"Make love to me Derek… in front of the mirror, I want to watch…" she smirked up at him and kissed his surprised expression. His hands went to his shirt which he began to unbutton hastily, whilst Meredith pulled down his jeans. Once he was free of clothes, Derek pushed Meredith up against the wall in front of the mirror, lifted her legs up so they were round his waist and entered her hard. They watched each other in the mirror, writhing against each other, both moaning in ecstasy. Neither lasted long and they were left hot, sticky and satisfied. Derek pulled out and they both leaned against the wall in an embrace.

After a few minutes, Meredith began to mumble against Derek's chest, "Derek…"

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"You're kinda crushing me…" Derek laughed and moved off his fiancé. Meredith grinned up at him and grabbed his hand and led him over to their bed, turning the lights off as she went. She removed the covers and scooted over to her side and pulled Derek in with her, spooning him around her and covering them both with the duvet. She sighed contentedly and Derek kissed her hair. They lay together, silently entwined before Derek started speaking softly.

"Hey you never did tell me why Mark was acting so strangely…" Meredith sighed.

"You really want to know?"

"I really want to know."

"Okay… but you can't say anything to either of them. Promise me."

"I will keep my mouth shut," and he kissed her hair again, sealing his promise.

"They're trying to get pregnant, and in six months nothing has happened." Meredith sighed again, "They both feel like they're letting the other one down except they haven't said this to each other. And today with Lily, I think it all got a bit too much for Mark…that's why he was acting weird for a bit."

"Oh Mer, that's awful…" Derek hugged Meredith closer to him, "I had no idea…"

"Yeah…Derek, do you know how lucky we are to have Lily? We could've been just like Mark and Addie…" Meredith turned to face him, burying her face in his neck. "I don't want to talk about this anymore Der… it makes me sad."

"Okay Mer, we'll stop. Go to sleep sweetheart," Derek kissed her forehead and let her shift to get comfortable against him.

"Night Derek, I love you."

"Love you too Mer." And they both fell into a deep slumber.

**So that was all very fluffy lol :) hope you enjoyed it, I'm afraid it gets considerably less fluffy hereafter… for now though please read and review!**


	8. First day back

**Right… at the beginning I said I hate angst and I do, but I had to put some in because otherwise this entire fic will be constant fluff with minor annoyances to the bright and shiny. And whilst I love the bright and shiny, I also like seeing Meredith and Derek work through the really nasty crappy stuff and come out stronger and closer and more together than they ever were. This chapter was really horrible to write… and it doesn't end particularly well. I am not going to give clues as to what is going to happen over the next few chapters, you'll just have to read and find out! But I will promise you all this: in the long term (i.e. the end) this will have a happy ending. One that is ridiculously happy. With sugar on top ;) With that in mind, read on…**

A month later, at the ungodly hour of four in the morning, Meredith's alarm clock went off. She groaned and a hand appeared from under the duvet and blindly reached for the noisy alarm. She turned it off and shuffled back under the covers but suddenly they were thrown from her and cold air washed over her body. Derek sat up next to her grinning.

"Not exactly the attitude expected from a third year resident Dr. Grey." He teased. She groaned and buried her head under a pillow, her hand swatting at him.

"I don't want to go Derek, I much prefer sleep." Her muffled voice replied. He rubbed her back and sighed.

"Now we both know you don't mean that Mer, come on, it's your first day back! You should be excited!"

"You be excited."

"I am excited, I get to watch a very pretty blonde wander around the surgery wing…" At this Meredith lifted the pillow off her head and turned to face Derek, giggling. She sat up and kissed his lips chastely.

"You should know flattery will get you everywhere." And with that she jumped out of bed and left a chuckling Derek to make their bed. Meredith walked into their en suite bathroom and turned the shower on, brushing her teeth as she waited for it to warm up.

An hour later she was downstairs feeding her daughter reading the newspaper, waiting for Derek to come downstairs. She looked down at Lily who was still firmly attached to her breast and she giggled.

"I think you might enjoy me more than your Daddy Lily," she stroked her daughters head, "I'm afraid though that we're gonna have to end this feeding session soon because Mummy and Daddy have to go to work," Meredith spoke softly at her daughter. Five minutes later Derek came downstairs, his hair still damp from the shower. He saw Meredith had made a fresh pot of coffee and he greedily poured himself a cup. Meredith turned to him as he sipped.

"Wind her for me?" Derek nodded, put his coffee down and carefully lifted Lily off her mother. He grabbed an old tea towel from the stove and slung it over his shoulder and then started patting the little girl on her back. Meredith watched through smiling eyes as she did up her shirt.

"Ready to go?" He asked as she fiddled with her buttons.

"I think so." She looked at him nervously for a second and then shook her head, "Just a little jittery I guess, it's been like three months..."

"You'll be fine Mer and you can always come find me," he walked over and gave Meredith an awkward hug, slightly squishing Lily in the process. She nodded and then held out her arms for her daughter. Derek finished his coffee while Meredith strapped her Lily in her car seat. Once his coffee was gone, Derek put his mug in the dishwasher and picked up his briefcase and car keys, following Meredith out the door.

They drove in silence, both not really awake; Meredith still couldn't drink coffee and for Derek the caffeine hadn't quite set in. They pulled up to the hospital at the same time as Burke and Cristina who greeted as them as they got out of the car.

"Welcome back Grey," Burke said as she opened the door. "Looking forward to work?"

"Surgeries yes… long hours not so much," she laughed, "I've gotten accustomed to sleeping late, not good for a surgeon!"

"How's she sleeping?" He asked, nodding to Lily who was being carried by Derek. The four of them started walking towards the entrance of the hospital.

"Incredibly well actually. She got settled into a routine pretty quickly, if she does wake up in the night it's only once or twice," Meredith turned to look down at her baby, "That's cos you're mummy's angel aren't you?"

Cristina rolled her eyes, "You two are such softies you know that?"

"Yup!" Meredith giggled at her friend, "Even you can't deny she isn't cute though Cristina."

"I suppose as screaming brats go she is one of the cuter ones." The four of them finished walking in silence. Inside the lobby, Burke left them to dash off to the OR for an early surgery leaving Cristina, Meredith and Derek alone. Cristina started to walk towards the elevator and beckoned Meredith to follow, but she stood with Derek, looking at her daughter, reluctant to say goodbye. She had been apart from her before, Derek had taken her a couple times to the hospital with him but this was the longest she was going to be apart from her baby; she had a 48 hour shift ahead of her and Lily would be going home with Derek without her that night. Cristina watched her friend as she hugged her fiancé, unwilling to let go. She walked back over and pulled her reluctantly off Derek.

"Come on Mer, dragging it out is just gonna make you feel worse, right Derek?" Cristina looked at Derek who nodded.

"She's right sweetheart, you'll see her sooner than you think, I promise." She looked at him and nodded.

"Okay…" Meredith kissed Lily's head, "Bye baby, mummy's gonna miss you…" Cristina pulled her towards the elevator and Meredith watched as Derek turned around and walked in the direction of the hospital daycare.

"She'll be fine Mer," Cristina said pushing the button for the lift, "You know she will."

"I know, doesn't make it any easier…" Meredith said as the doors opened. She pushed the button for the third floor and the doors shut in front of her. Back at work and already she longed to be at home. It was going to be a long, long day.

* * *

"So fill me in with everything." Meredith said a few hours later as she and Cristina were buying coffee after rounds. It had taken a while for her thoughts to move from her daughter but she definitely felt happier than she did this morning. "What've I missed? Derek's useless at filling me in on hospital gossip." They walked back towards the elevator sipping coffee, charts balanced under their arms. 

"To be honest Mer, it's been kinda boring around here… Olivia and that psyche guy went out for a while but they broke up pretty quickly, rumour has it one of them has Chlamydia," she laughed, "Er, we've found another really old guy so we don't eat lunch in the cafeteria. Oh yeah! We had a patient with VSD come in; Burke's surgery was amazing… Hey Mer?" Cristina stopped her trail of thought and turned to Meredith who was watching two people in front of her waiting for the elevator; Derek and a tall, brunette woman who was smiling and touching his arm in a way that she could only be described as inappropriate.

Meredith stopped walking and grabbed her friend's arm, "Cristina, who is that woman stroking Derek?"

"Oh I forgot about her… that's Dr. Newton, she's the new cardio specialist, arrived from Chicago General about 3 weeks ago. British, bitchy, thinks she's all that."

"You forgot to mention that there is a new doctor? A new doctor who apparently thinks it is okay to stroke men who are in relationships, men who happen to have a fiancé and a baby. Cristina, surely you must've noticed this, why didn't you tell me before I came back?!"

"Because she was totally irrelevant Mer, this is the first time I've seen her like that with Derek! Believe me, if I had known, at least one of her limbs would be in a cast right now." Cristina's eyes narrowed as she regarded the two doctors waiting for the elevator.

"Well it's going to be the last time you see them like that." Meredith said coldly and she marched straight up to Dr. Newton and Derek leaving Cristina to watch. She coughed loudly, interrupting whatever conversation they were having. Dr. Newton did not look impressed and folded her arms and turned to Meredith who eyed her coldy.

"Excuse me doctor…?"

"Grey."

"Dr. Grey. I was having a discussion with Dr. Shepherd, a private discussion. Surely you could see that." Her voice was harsh and clipped, but Meredith was unperturbed; this woman had no right to act so lecherously over her fiancé. She opened her mouth to tell her this but was cut off by Derek.

"Alison, I'm sure she didn't mean to. Dr. Grey is actually one of Seattle Grace's finest residents," he smiled at Meredith but stopped when he saw how angry she looked.

"I'm sure." She eyed Meredith distastefully, "We can finish talking later Derek, when there are fewer annoyances around." She smiled at Derek and walked off towards the stairs leaving Meredith and Derek alone in front of the elevator. It arrived shortly and they both got in, neither saying a word. They got off at the next floor, Meredith grabbing his arm and pulling him out towards an on-call room. She locked the door and turned furiously to face Derek.

"What the hell was that Derek?" Her voice was low and dangerously calm.

"Dr. Newton, the new cardio speciali-" Derek began innocently, but Meredith stopped him and began shouting, loudly.

"I know who she is Derek, Cristina filled me in. What she failed to mention though, and I'm surprised that you forgot too, is that this new attending is apparently all over you. In broad daylight. Why is that Derek? Is there a reason that she's practically prostituting herself?" She folded her arms and pouted angrily at him, her breaths coming in deep huffs.

"Of course not!" He was worried, he hadn't seen Meredith this angry in a very long time. Not since she found out about Addison… this could not turn out the same way.

"Meredith, there is nothing going on, I promise. I promise you," he grabbed one of her hands and kissed it, "I love you and only you, remember?" Her eyes softened for a moment but then she pulled her hand away and eyed him warily.

"Does she know we're engaged? Because you didn't mention it Derek. And from what I saw, she seems to think you're available." He took a step back and ran a hand through his hair, his eyes on the floor. He looked back up at Meredith and she was shocked to see that his eyes were guilty and her mouth opened in disbelief.

"Oh my god…"

"I'm so sorry Mer, she doesn't know… But I was going to tell her I swear!" He pleaded with her, his voice guilty and regretful. "Honestly I was."

"Seriously?! How has it not come up in the past 3 weeks that she's been here Derek! How!? This woman is clearly interested in you and you've not given her any reason not to be! You let her talk to me like crap as well Derek… you let her." Meredith's eyes became glassy, tears forming rapidly. The sight was enough to break Derek's heart, how could he have done this to her?

"What am I to you Derek? Are you bored with me? Am I not enough? Has having Lily made you change your mind about me, about us?" Her voice cracked at the end and she shut eyes furiously, refusing to cry and let him see her break down. Derek looked at her and mentally slapped himself, he could not believe he had broken her, again. After 3 years he was still hurting her. He had to repair this damage and quickly, he had so much more to lose now. He took a step forward so he was directly in front of her.

"Meredith look at me." He said quietly. When she didn't he repeated himself, desperation tingeing his voice.

"Look at me Meredith, please." She opened her eyes and stared at him, tears falling silently down her cheeks. He instinctively rubbed them away with the pads of his thumbs and then he cupped her cheek. She looked at him through hurt-filled eyes as she waited for him to speak again.

"I should've told her Mer and I don't know why I didn't. Maybe it slipped my mind, I don't know but that isn't an excuse. I'm sorry I let her talk to like that as well…it was completely unacceptable." He waited for her to say something but when she didn't he continued. "And there is honestly nothing going on, I swear, I love you and I can't believe I've done this... I'm so sorry Mer, more than you'll know… I hate that you're crying, crying because of me! It's enough to make me cry!" His voice cracked and he rubbed away the tears that had pricked in the corners of his eyes. Still though Meredith didn't say anything.

"I'll tell her Meredith, right now. I have to fix this, I can't break us Meredith, I can't let that happen. I love you too much for this to destroy us, for a crappy, stupid mistake by me to ruin what we have." He said vehemently, "And you know how much I love you, how much I need you… god I don't know what I'd do if I lost you Mer… please say something, please." He begged her, his hands resting on her shoulders, his eyes staring directly into hers.

She took and deep breathe and began quietly, "I believe you Derek, when you say there's nothing going, when you say you're sorry, when you say you love me. I believe you…" She paused and studied him for a moment before continuing, "But what I can't believe Derek is that you allowed this to happen, why you didn't tell her…" She laughed bitterly, "You know I've told all my friends? And I mention you every chance I get… if I'm at the hairdresser I'll talk about you, if I'm at the market I'll tell the cashier the muesli isn't for me, it's for my fiancé... I'll tell anyone willing to listen. Know why?" He shook his head guiltily.

"Because I love and adore you Derek, so much that it hurts. I'm proud and happy to be in this relationship and those are two words that I never thought I'd describe myself with, but you changed that. Except now I feel stupid, because it feels like you don't see me in the same way!" She started sobbing and Derek pulled her strongly into his arms, her fists batting his chest as he did, trying to push him away but to no avail. He had her and he was going to hold her, he was going to make things better and eventually she stopped pushing him away and relaxed in his arms, burying her head in his scrubs.

"I do feel the same way Meredith, I do, you know that." He began softly, "Please believe that. I'll love you forever and I can't wait to marry you, for you to be Dr. Shepherd, for us to have more children, for us to grow old together… you're all that I need and want Mer… I am proud to be in this relationship, why I didn't mention it to Dr. Newton I don't know… and for that I can only apologise and promise that as soon as this is over, I will be telling her. I'll announce it to the whole hospital if I have to, to the world in fact that I love Meredith Grey."

"You don't have to tell the world…" her small voice replied, "The world probably doesn't care about two people in love, they're more concerned with the antics of Paris Hilton…" Derek smiled and kissed her hair, relieved that Meredith still felt able to joke with him but he knew he wasn't out of the woods yet. There was no way that Meredith would forgive him so easily, he knew that he'd caused her a lot of pain. She pulled away from his chest and stared directly at him.

"You've really hurt me Derek. You didn't tell her about us and you let her drape herself all over you… and in this hospital that makes me look like a joke; you know how fast gossip travels! And whilst I love you desperately, it doesn't make it hurt any less. You've broken me so many times Derek and you just can't do it again because it's not just me involved anymore; we've got Lily now." She paused, "You have to fix this because I don't know how to." His heart clenched at her words and he nodded. She kissed his jaw and pulled away from him and walked towards the door and as she opened it she turned back to him.

"Don't take too long to fix it Derek," and she walked out and shut the door behind him, leaving Derek with the mess he had created. He groaned loudly and put his face in his hands; this morning they had been perfect, blissfully happy some might say but in a few short hours he had ruined it. She had told him to fix it because she didn't know how to… He cursed himself, how could he have done this? After all their past together, he was still acting like an idiot. Well he would make this better because Meredith deserved to be proud and happy and the first thing to do was talk to Dr. Newton. With that in mind, he wiped his eyes free of tears, ran a hand through his hair and walked out of the room determinedly. He was going to fix things.

**Er… yeah. So I kinda broke the fluff and the happiness… Hopefully you won't hate me. For long. I really hope this chapter was believable and still good to read, even if it doesn't end happily. It will get better though, eventually… for now read and review?**


	9. Can we fix things?

**The last chapter was pretty intense, and this one isn't much better I'm afraid. I'm really not sure how I feel about it, whether I like it or not and if I'm taking this story in the right direction. Hmmmmm. Here goes...**

Meredith left the room and nausea immediately overcame her. She felt sick and ill from the tears and betrayal; she ran straight to a bathroom and proceeded to vomit the entire contents of her stomach. She heard the bathroom door open and Cristina's voice outside the cubicle.

"You okay Mer?" Meredith wiped her mouth and brow with some tissue paper and flushed the toilet. She unlocked the door and walked over to the sink to wash the taste of bile out of her mouth.

"No Cristina, I'm not okay." She sighed and leaned her head against the bathroom mirror, "He didn't tell her we're engaged, she doesn't know. That's why she was all over him by the elevator…he let it happen willingly."

"He didn't tell her?! Why?!" Cristina looked dumbfounded, her eyebrows knitted together in confusion. "Tell me he hasn't been cheating Mer because if he has I'll kill him Mer, you know I wi-"

"He isn't cheating," Meredith cut her off, "He promised me, and I believe him. He just didn't tell her about me… and I don't know why…"

"I can't believe he'd do such a shitty thing… He's gonna pay for this Mer, I will hurt him." Cristina spat angrily.

"Please don't… I think he feels so bad he'd let you, although that doesn't make it feel any better… He's an ass, a massive one but unfortunately for me I love him…" Meredith turned around and looked at Cristina. "He'll fix this right? Tell me he's going to make things okay again..."

"He'd better."

"Yeah…" Meredith sighed miserably and fixed her hair and attempted a smile, "We'd best go, two residents disappearing from the OR floor is not something people are gonna miss." She walked towards the door but Cristina's hand caught her.

"Mer…" She began but Meredith cut her off.

"I'm fine Cristina, I'm fine. I just wanna forget this for the moment and go cut something."

"Alright Mer." And they walked out of the bathroom in silence.

* * *

A few hours and an appendectomy surgery later, Meredith was still feeling nauseous and a sinking, worrying feeling had begun to settle at the pit of her stomach. She was filling in charts at the nurses' station, trying to resist the urge to throw up when she spotted Addison turn round the corner looking at her Blackberry absent mindedly. Meredith shut the chart in front of her and quickly walked up to her friend. 

"Addison, can I speak to you?" Addison looked up from her Blackberry and found Meredith in front of her, immediately sensing something was wrong.

"Sure Mer, of course. Why don't we go somewhere more private?" Meredith nodded and Addison clipped her Blackberry back onto her belt and steered her friend into an empty room and sat them both on the bed. Meredith started fidgeting nervously with her engagement ring.

"What is it Mer?" Addison asked kindly, "You said you wanted to talk?" Meredith turned and looked at her friend, her eyes wide and fearful. She opened her mouth to say something and then shut it again. Addison was about to ask again but then Meredith stood up and blurted:

"I think I might be pregnant!" And she immediately burst into tears. Loud, noisy sobs that filled the room. Addison stood up and hugged her friend, oblivious to the morning's events. She had no idea of what had happened between Derek and Meredith and her friends tears were a shock.

"Meredith, calm down for me okay? Just calm down." Meredith pulled back and nodded and sat back down on the bed, trying to slow her breathing. "Do you want some water?" Addison asked. Meredith nodded again and the red-head walked into the bathroom and came out with a plastic beaker of water. Meredith accepted it gratefully and sipped it and eventually her sobs stopped, her breathing shaky but normal.

"Now, do you want to talk about this Mer? Because I'm guessing there is more to this than an unplanned pregnancy, that is if you are pregnant…" Addison folded her arms and looked at Meredith.

"Oh my god Addie…if only you knew... I've possibly had the worst morning ever. And if I am pregnant, it just got worse..." Meredith looked despairingly at her friend. She started to tell Addison about the elevator, about Dr. Newton and the argument she had with Derek. Addison was silent, letting Meredith speak, her lips getting tighter and tighter and her frown even sterner. By the time Meredith finished, she felt ready to kill Derek.

"When I get my hands on that man…" Addison said when Meredith finished, "He will rue the day he even said hello to that _slut_…" Meredith smiled weakly at her.

"Thanks Addie…I appreciate it. That doesn't fix things though… what if I am pregnant?"

"We'll deal with that when we find out. Because I'm right by saying you haven't checked?" Meredith nodded.

"I'm only a week late…today is the first time I've felt really nauseous…"

"Right, then you are coming with me up to maternity; we're getting you a blood test." Meredith nodded and Addison tugged her out of the room and down the corridor.

In maternity, Addison found Meredith an exam room and took a sample of her blood for testing.

Looking at the blood she had collected she turned to Meredith, "Right, I'll get this down to the lab ASAP and have it marked emergency. We'll know in about an hour." Meredith nodded gratefully, rubbing her arm where the blood had been collected.

"Want to wait here or should I page you?"

"Page me Addie, I've got pre-ops to see. I can't be away for an hour, no matter how crappy I feel." She sighed dejectedly. Addison rubbed her arm comfortingly.

"Hey, stop being so hard on yourself okay? None of this is your fault, you know that right?"

"Yeah, doesn't make it any better though does it?"

"I guess…I'll see you soon though okay? I'll page you as soon as I find out." Meredith nodded, "Thanks Addie." She walked out of the room and Addison watched as Meredith's tiny figure disappeared in the hallway.

An hour later and Meredith found herself back in maternity, sitting in the same room, waiting for Addison to tell her the results of the blood test. She had tried to find Derek, wanting him to be with her even though they were fighting but he'd been pulled into a trauma and looking at the OR board she saw he wouldn't be free for at least another three hours. So she was alone, fiddling with her ring again, wondering what she was going to do if the result was positive. She heard the door open and looked up to see Addison standing in front of her, a chart in her hands.

"Well?" Meredith asked desperately.

"It's positive Meredith… and according to the hormone levels you're about four weeks gone." Meredith stared dumbly at her before a flicker of realisation crossed her face. She smiled to herself.

"Godamn mirror sex…" She muttered to herself.

"What Mer?" Addison asked confusedly, "Mirror what?!"

"Sex. We had sex. In front of a mirror. And we didn't use a condom…"

"Ah, I see..."

"Yeah..." Meredith thought for a moment, "What am I gonna do Addie? This is the worst time for something like this to happen…" Addison walked over to Meredith and put an arm round her.

"I know. But crappy things often happen to good people. Take me and Mark, apparently our only chance at having children is through IVF…" Addison sighed. Meredith opened her mouth to say something but Addison shushed her. "I've dealt with the possibility of not being able to have children and you'll deal with this Mer. You and Derek, you're soul mates, you're gonna be okay. You just need to talk to him."

"Yeah I know… it's just he really hurt me Addison, it's like he forgot me… he let this woman flirt with him and knowing Derek, he probably flirted back just to satisfy his ego. I love him so much Addie…"

"I know Mer, and he loves you. You know that. This whole situation was caused by one stupid mistake and I'll bet my money's worth that he is going to regret it for the rest of his life…You have to talk to him Meredith."

"I know." Meredith paused, "How come you didn't tell me about you and Mark sooner Addie? I feel so awful now for talking to you about this…I feel like I'm rubbing it in…" Meredith said guiltily but Addison shook her head forcefully.

"No Meredith, you can't think like that. I'm your friend; you're supposed to come talk to me about stuff like this. And I don't know why I didn't tell sooner…I guess it hadn't really sunk in… but enough about me, now's not the time for me okay? Right now you need to decide what you're gonna do about all of this."

"I need to speak to Derek. Until I find him and talk I have absolutely no idea what I'm gonna do… Thanks Addie, for being so supportive and well, lovely…My friends… they're amazing but at the moment they're so angry with Derek. Cristina told them at lunch and they're after his blood... If they found out I was pregnant… I don't think Derek would make it out of here alive!" She chuckled, a warm grin spreading across her features, "You should see them… at lunch they were figuring out how they could shave his hair without him knowing!"

Addison chucked, "It's fine Mer, I'm glad you feel you can come to me about stuff, given our past..." they smiled at each other. Meredith cringed, smiling to herself.

"You know this is getting quite day-time drama-ish, if Cristina could see us she'd have a field day!" They both laughed.

"Well then, I guess we'd best part company before we start sharing our childhood memories!" Addison jumped off the bed and straightened her blouse. She opened the door for Meredith and followed her out into the hallway.

"Meredith, it's gonna be okay, you know that right?" Addison said as Meredith started walking towards the elevator. Meredith stopped and looked at Addison.

"I hope you're right Addie, I hope you're right."

* * *

Upon leaving the on-call room, Derek hurried to Alison's office, he felt ill with guilt and at that moment he hated himself. He reached the office and peered in through the blinds and saw she was sitting at her desk studying something on her laptop. He knocked quickly and heard her shout "Come in!" He opened the door and shut it behind him and leant against it. She looked up from the screen and smiled. 

"Derek, what a pleasure to see you…" She shut her laptop and stood up and walked towards him but he held his hand out in front of him, stopping her, and started talking immediately.

"Alison, we have to stop this; the flirting, the chatting in the corridors … we have to stop."

She frowned, confusion in her eyes, "Why?"

"Because I'm engaged." Alison raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything. Derek continued, "I should've told you before, when we first met… in fact I don't know why I even kept up this charade and I wish I hadn't…" He sighed, "Dr. Grey, Meredith… she's my fiancé and I love her, so, so much and this morning outside the elevator… it practically broke her heart Alison and I've been a bastard about the whole thing…" He looked at the floor guiltily. "I've got to fix things."

"Fix what Derek? We've done nothing wrong." She frowned at Derek, "We're just having a little fun... we can have a little _fun_ right?"

"No Alison, we can't. It's not fun, it's just cruel. It's cruel, and I'm not a cruel person. She was so upset Alison, I haven't seen her so angry and hurt in a very long time..." He said, still staring at the floor.

"Derek, to be honest, it sounds like she's having a bit of a jealous tantrum…" Derek's head shot up and he glared at her.

"Alison, she has a right to be jealous! We have a daughter, a two month old… it's not fair on either of them. I've let my ego get the better of me… I'll admit that I let this happen, that this is my fault because I made the decision to not tell you but that doesn't make it alright. It has to stop. Okay?" He ran a hand through his hair and looked at the female doctor, waiting for her reply.

Alison pursed her lips together and folded her arms, "Fine, whatever Derek. Go be with your fiancé, I hope she makes you_ really_ happy. But just remember," She walked over to him, leaned towards his face and said softly, "_I_ wasn't the only one flirting." And she left Derek in her office to collect his thoughts. He groaned and walked back out into the corridor. He was about to go look for Meredith but his pager went off summoning him to the pit.

"Meredith'll have to wait I guess…" He sighed miserably and walked towards the elevator where all his troubles had started.

* * *

Much later, after a six hour emergency surgery, Derek felt exhausted. Meredith hadn't left his thoughts throughout the operation and he was only just scrubbing out. He heard the door open behind him but ignored it, assuming it was one of the scrub nurses. It wasn't though. It was Meredith. She cleared her throat and he turned round and stopped dead. 

"Derek?" She looked so defeated and miserable that his face crumpled in despair. In seconds he was pulling her close and kissing her hair, rubbing her back, guilty tears trailing down his own cheeks as he heard her begin to sob.

"Oh Mer… I can't even begin to say how sorry I am…" He said softly, "So incredibly sorry." She didn't say anything, just hugged him harder, her sobs getting louder. "I told her Mer, I told her…I told her about us…she knows that I'm completely devoted to you."

"Sh-he d-does? Y-you are?" Meredith stuttered in between sobs.

"Uh-huh. I'm sorry I didn't tell her sooner, I don't know why I did it Mer… Please don't think it was about you Mer because you… you're perfect, so very perfect. I don't deserve you…" His voice cracked and he held her small frame even tighter.

"Please tell me we're gonna be okay…" He whispered desperately. She shifted in his arms and moved her head to look at him. Teary eyes mirrored each other and she wiped his away with her tiny hands.

"We'll be okay Derek… but you can't do this again okay? You can't." Meredith looked at him, her green eyes staring into his blue ones.

"I won't Mer, I won't. I love you Meredith." He kissed her lips chastely.

"I know you do," she hugged him closer; "I love you too." Meredith whispered back. She reached up and kissed his lips tenderly and then looked worriedly at him. "I'm still angry with you Derek, that doesn't go away just because you've apologised or because I say "I love you"..." Derek nodded and hugged her closer, knowing he had a lot to make up to her. He frowned; there was something else wrong though, something she hadn't told him, he could feel it.

"Mer, what else is wrong? I know you, there's something you're not telling me Mer..." He looked down at her, eyes filled with concern as she broke eye contact with him, "Tell me what's wrong!" She stared at him for a moment and then started crying again.

"I'm pr-pr-pregnant Derek, that's what's wrong!" Meredith stuttered, "You g-g-got me godamn kn-knocked up again with y-your frickin no-condom-mirror-sex and then you flirt with pretty d-d-doctors!"

**Sorry guys to leave you hanging! More soon I promise, until then please read and review!**


	10. Repairing the damage

**Right, so I fix everything in this chapter! For the most part anyway :) Also, updates from now onwards are probably going to be less frequent than they have been because I'm off to Italy for four weeks this Sunday meaning no internet!!!! I'll try and update with everything I've written so far before I go but after that I can't promise loads... But when I'm abroad hopefully I'll be able to write more so I can update quite a bit when I get back. Anyway, that was all very long and boring and completely off the point of this story. So anyway, read and I hope you enjoy :) **

Derek felt the ground beneath him disappear, he felt like he was floating, suspended in a state of disbelief. _Pregnant_? Lily was barely three months old and already Meredith was carrying a second child…

"I found out today…" Meredith muffled against his scrub top, "Four weeks. I blame your mirror antics." Derek frowned, his guilt sinking in even further. He'd almost broken her again through his own selfish actions and he'd gotten her pregnant and she'd found out on her first day back at the hospital which he'd managed to ruin. He pulled her closer to him and sighed.

"Oh Mer…I have been such an asshole…I promise you that I am going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I promise." Derek kissed her hair and she sighed against his chest. He felt his pager go off but he ignored it, knowing that he was needed here more than anything else. Meredith though began to push him off her and he looked down at her with concern.

"What is it Mer?"

"Your pager…"

"I don't care about the pager. I don't care what the pager says. I care about you. I messed up big time today Mer…this is me fixing it. So I'm going to ignore the pager and hug you some more until you believe that I care about you and love you. That okay?"

"Okay… but we need to talk Derek, a lot has happened…we can't just stay hugging forever in here…" Meredith said sadly, wrapping her arms back round Derek. He thought for a moment and then lifted Meredith easily off the ground and wrapped her legs around his waist. She squealed in shock and confusion.

"What are you doing?! Put me down!" Derek chuckled and said nothing. He kicked open the door of the scrub room and walked down the hallway, ignoring the odd looks from his co-workers. He stopped at an on call room and pushed it open with his shoulder and was pleased to find it empty. He walked over to the bed and gently set Meredith on it and sat down beside her.

"Now, you said we need to talk. So talk to me Mer." He kissed her gently and felt her relax.

"Well, I'm pregnant."

"Uh-huh, you said," he said lightly, "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay… shocked, but okay." She paused, "Actually make that scared shitless! Derek Lily isn't even four months old and already I'm carrying a second child! I've only just started working again, I'm already behind the others and this is gonna set me back even further!" She fiddled with her ring and looked away from Derek who waited for her to speak again.

"And then there's you Der…you were an ass earlier outside that elevator. You didn't stick up for me, you didn't introduce me…you say all these wonderful perfect things when we're alone together, you make me feel special Derek… But today you let her assume I was nothing to you. You only told her because I found out…" He opened his mouth to say something but she put her finger on his lips stopping him, "Shh, I've not finished. I don't for one minute think you'd cheat Derek, you know how much it hurts and I know you love me… but you do stupid, stupid things without thinking. I kind of understand, she's pretty right? Really pretty and you felt flattered…but Derek, I'm the one that's supposed to pay you attention, I'm the one that's supposed to flatter you and I don't like that some hot shot doctor was taking that from me…" Finishing her sentence she moved to sit in Derek's lap, wrapping her legs and arms around him, face buried in his neck and he rocked her gently.

"Meredith, if I could take back all of today I would. But Mer, no one could ever take your place. Ever. I was stupid, so very stupid…and Mer, she's not half as pretty as you. She doesn't even compare. She really was just fuelling my ego…not an excuse I know but that's the only reason I let her flirt. I think I missed having a female companion around here… But she could never _ever_ take your place. I love you so much Mer, so very, very much. And I can't believe we've created another life together; do you know how amazing that is? I know it's unexpected but we can do this, it'll be hard but if you want it we can do it. And I promise, no more mistakes on my part. Or at least none of this scale. I promise." He bent and kissed the back of her neck and ran his hand through her hair, clutching her as if his life depended on it.

"You really think we can do this?"

"I do."

"You know this means I'm gonna get even fatter," Meredith giggled making Derek's heart warm, "I'm never gonna be "skinny Meredith" again!" Derek turned her head to face him and kissed her deeply.

"I don't care Mer, and didn't I tell you how much I love your new curves? Which by the way are still incredibly small…"

"You did… I believe that's how I ended up in this mess again!" Meredith laughed, "That's twice now, two accidents. Derek you have to stop jumping me!" She snuggled against him, relieved that they were fixed and fine. Fighting with Derek was horrible and today had been particularly nasty. It would take a while for her to forget his actions but in her heart she knew that he didn't do it on purpose, _he's pretty brainless for a brain specialist_ she thought, and she also knew how guilty he felt; his tears earlier had been a shock and she frowned at the memory.

"I accept your apology Derek… when you say you're sorry over the Alison thing. Seeing you cry almost broke my heart Derek, I don't think I've ever seen you cry before…" Meredith said softly stroking his hair and she looked up at him and kissed him gently.

"I hardly ever do… seeing you so sad though, knowing I was the cause… you just looked so desolate and it did break my heart! I hate it when you're upset Mer, it makes me upset…"

"I'm not sad anymore Derek, you fixed things. You made things better," she sighed happily against him, "I love you Derek."

"I love you too Meredith and I can't say it enough…"

* * *

Alison Newton was angry. She was used to getting what she wanted when she wanted. Except Meredith Grey had stopped her. Derek Shepherd was an extremely attractive man and someone whom she wanted to know a lot more intimately. She couldn't believe that such a man was engaged and had a child, with someone she would describe as ordinary. She was a third year resident with ratty hair whereas she, Alison Newton was a world renowned cardio-vascular surgeon with several publications to her name and she was extremely attractive. Any man would _kill_ to be with her. Any man except the one that she wanted. It had plagued her thoughts all through the surgery she had just performed and now scrubbing out it seemed that it would be with her for sometime. 

She groaned in frustration and stalked out of the scrub room. She turned the corner and to her horror saw Derek walk out of the OR carrying Meredith into an on-call room. Stupid, tiny Meredith. She clenched her fists angrily and walked to her office, slamming the door shut once she was inside. There was only one thing that would calm her down and that was a call to her best friend. She picked up the phone, praying that he was in.

"Charles Mason speaking."

"Charles it's Alison."

"Darling! I've not spoken to you in absolutely _ages_! How's it going with that hunky neurosurgeon of yours?" Charles was an old university friend. Witty, bright, intelligent and extremely good looking. They would've been perfect for each other had Charles not been gay. Instead they had formed a fast friendship, both of them ruthlessly ambitious, bitchy and would stop at nothing to get what they wanted.

"He's engaged." Alison sighed down the phone, "To some third year resident with awful hair. They've got a bloody child Charles. He told me we had to stop flirting after I had altercation with his fiancé."

"Your point?"

"My point? My point is that Derek Shepherd is unattainable. And I'm pissed off Charles."

"I still don't see the problem; other women haven't stood in your way before. Steal him darling, we both know you've done it before."

"But Charles you haven't seen the way he looks at her. He practically had a fit in my office earlier, looked as if the world had ended just because this stupid cow was annoyed with him."

"Something to play on then. Come on Alison, you and I both know you're not above it, remember Gregory?" Alison grinned at the memory, getting Gregory had been fun…

"Darling, if you do your magic he'll be in the palm of your hand in months, you know I'm right."

"What about the child?"

"What about it?" They both laughed cruelly.

Alison's pager went off, "Charles, I've got to go. I'll call you in a few days."

"Fine darling, ciao!" He hung up the phone and Alison walked out of her office smiling to herself. Derek Shepherd would be hers; she was sure of it.

* * *

At eight o'clock that evening, Derek stepped into the elevator ready to go home. Meredith had seemed much happier when they had left the on-call room. That had been just over 2 hours ago and he hadn't seen her since. They'd agreed to meet in the hospital lobby before he left so Meredith could say good night to Lily and he was on his way there now. The elevator stopped on the third floor and it opened to reveal Alison. Derek groaned inwardly, this was going to be awkward. Alison stepped in and stood beside him. The doors closed and they began their descent. 

"So everything happy in paradise?" Alison broke the silence.

"Er yeah…Meredith seems fine now thanks." He paused, "I'm really sorry Alison for what happened. I've been an ass."

"Derek it's _fine_, you know I could never stay mad at you. We're friends, right?" She said sweetly. _Damn_ he thought, what was he supposed to say to that?

"Of course we are." He flashed her a smile which she returned.

"Good. In that case, care to join me for a drink?"

"Sorry, can't… I've got Lily by myself tonight. Meredith's working, some other time?" Derek felt uneasy, friends inside the hospital was fine, outside not so much. Meredith would not be happy; there was no way he could go for drinks with Alison.

"Of course! I'll come find you tomorrow to organise something." The elevator stopped and they both stepped out; Alison in the direction of the exit and Derek towards the hospital day care. He ran a hand through his hair; he was treading a very fine line by agreeing to be friends with Alison. Meredith wasn't the jealous type; she didn't mind him having female friends just as he didn't care about her having male ones, but Alison had posed a threat to her happiness and it was unlikely she would be comfortable with them being more than just colleagues. Derek sighed; in retrospect being friends wasn't really an option and he would just have to tell Alison tomorrow. Now though was not the time to worry; he had to collect his daughter and say good night to his fiancé.

He picked up Lily and walked back to the hospital entrance and found Meredith waiting for them. Her face broke into a smile and she walked up to meet them. She kissed Derek on the cheek and then eagerly took her daughter from him, hugging her close.

"Hey little girl, mummy has been thinking about you all day," Meredith spoke softly to Lily, "She's gonna miss you tonight…but you have to be a good girl for your daddy." She smiled up at Derek and then kissed Lily on the head.

"You'll be okay with her right?" Meredith asked Derek, "You'll call if you need anything?"

"Mer, you're acting like this is my first time alone with her." He grinned at Meredith who bit her lip.

"I know… I don't know what's wrong with me. I mean I've left her before so really this isn't new…I just haven't been this long apart from her before." Meredith looked down at Lily who had fallen asleep. Derek pulled them both into his arms.

"I know Mer, I know. Lily and I will be fine though, we're gonna have daddy-daughter fun aren't we Lily?" He looked down at Lily and then back to Meredith who was smiling at him.

"Okay." She reluctantly handed Lily back to Derek and hugged them both again. "I'll see you in the morning then?"

"Yup, bright and early!" He turned to walk out the exit and Meredith watched them both leave. Before Derek walked out the door he turned and blew Meredith a kiss and then he was gone. Meredith sighed, running a hand through her hair. It was going to be a long night.

* * *

"Meredith!" Izzie ran up to Meredith who was sat on a gurney filling in paperwork. 

"Mmmmm?" Meredith said distractedly, "What can I do you for Iz?"

"Go home."

"What?" Meredith looked up at Izzie and saw her smiling, "I can't go home Izzie, I'm on-call."

"Not anymore, I am. I cleared it, so go home, I know you're pining so skedaddle already!" Izzie grinned but Meredith frowned.

"No Izzie, I can't go home. I'm a doctor, I can't just take a rain check, even if I am pining…I will not be mummy-tracked Iz, I refuse." She sighed and shook her head and went back to her paperwork.

"Mer, I'm not mummy-tracking you, I'm not. You've had a pretty shitty day what with Derek being a complete jack-ass earlier," Meredith frowned but Izzie continued, "I know you guys are okay again but you still had a massive fight and you have a really cute daughter and I haven't had a fight or got a daughter at home so really I've got nothing to lose and you've got everything to gain. So go home!" Izzie crossed her arms and looked at Meredith expectantly.

"You're sure?" Meredith said hesitantly.

"I'm sure. I've got Alex to keep me company," Meredith raised her eyebrows, "What? We're just _friends_, nothing more, nothing less. But that's not the point… The point is you're going home. Now. So give me those charts and get down to the locker room." And she grabbed the charts forcefully and pulled Meredith off the gurney and pushed her away down the corridor.

"Go on!"

"Alright, I'm going!" Meredith started walking away and turned, "Thanks Iz, I owe you!" She called to Izzie.

"No problem Mer. By the way, you might want to tell Derek to watch his back for a while, Alex and George's last plan involved leeches!"

"Will do Iz, will do!" Meredith practically skipped down the hallway to the locker room. She was going home!

An hour later, at just gone midnight a cab dropped Meredith outside her house. She opened the door and dropped her keys and purse on the table in the hall. She noticed the light was still on in the living room. She walked in expecting Derek to be getting a drink or something but the sight that met her eyes was heart-warming. Sat on the sofa asleep was Derek in his pyjamas, head leaned back, his mouth wide open and in snuggled his arms was Lily, who was also sleeping peacefully. The TV was still on, the latest news flickering across the screen. Meredith walked over to them and bent her head to kiss Derek softly. He responded readily and he opened his eyes groggily, they widened with surprise when they saw Meredith, who was now sat beside him.

"Wha-?!" Meredith shushed him with her finger, cocking her head to Lily.

"Iz offered to be on call so I'm home," she smiled at Derek and kissed him again, "I couldn't deny the opportunity to be with my two favourite people. Has she been okay?"

"Kinda, put her to bed at nine and went to sleep soon after. She woke up about an hour and a half ago though and wouldn't stop crying. Tried to feed her but she was having none of it, stubborn little madam. Just waited it out, I must've fallen asleep…" He yawned and kissed the top of his daughter's head, "I think she just missed her mummy." Meredith nodded and carefully lifted Lily out of his arms, careful not to disturb her slumber.

"I'll put her back to bed Der, you go get some sleep." Meredith stood up and walked back out of the living room upstairs hugging her daughter close.

"You're a little minx aren't you Lily? Keeping your daddy up!" Meredith cooed to her daughter as she walked up the stairs, "Did you miss mummy? Because mummy missed you an awful lot..." Meredith sighed, "I hate leaving you baby, but in a couple weeks we'll be off to Connecticut to see Grandma and celebrate Christmas Shepherd style."

She looked down at Lily who was still sleeping and smiled. Meredith walked into her daughter's room and tucked Lily back up. She left the room and found that the hall lights had been turned off. Walking into her bedroom she saw Derek back in bed fast asleep. Quickly undressing, Meredith slid into bed beside him and snuggled close to him. She was just falling asleep when she felt him move and his arms were around her, pulling her body closer to his.

"Night Mer," he said kissing her hair, "I'm glad you came home."

"Me too." And then they were both fast asleep, the day's unpleasant events a distant blur. For now they were peaceful and happy; dead to the world in each other's arms.

**So there was fluff at the end! Please read and review :) and btw, I shall be replying to all the lovely comments I got last time, I've just been quite busy recently... **


	11. Finally fixed

**So I'll warn you. This chapter is fairly cheesy. And the events that take place are unlikely to occur in real life. But this is fiction and therefore I can do as I like ;) within reason anyway! Plus I wish you all well from Italy :)**

The next day Derek was in his office filling in charts when the door was thrust open. Derek looked up from his desk to see who had disturbed him and he found Mark angrily staring back.

"You wanna try knocking next time?" Derek said dryly, "Now, if you don't mind I'm busy. Whatever's pissed you off can wait." And he resumed filling in the paperwork.

"Derek don't be snarky with me. And what I've got to say isn't gonna wait because it concerns you." Derek's head shot up and Mark glared at him. Realisation hit and Derek groaned. Meredith was pregnant meaning Addison was involved and that meant Mark had been told. He would also know about Alison and the elevator incident; Derek was as good as dead.

"This is about yesterday isn't it?" Derek said meekly.

"Of course it's about frigging yesterday! Derek, what in god's name were you thinking?! I can't believe you; Derek Shepherd doesn't flirt with women who aren't his fiancé… And not telling her you were engaged? What the hell is wrong with you?" Mark yelled incredulously.

"I don't know what I was thinking Mark! It was all one big fucking mistake that got way out of hand. Just quit with the yelling, I already feel crap as it is." Derek sighed. Mark was right but he didn't need his guilt rubbed in any more.

"Oh you feel like crap? What about Meredith? How does she feel? According to Addison she was pretty upset yesterday Derek, hysterical even." Mark folded his arms and eyed Derek through angry eyes.

"She's fine Mark. We're fine. Yesterday, she came and found me after surgery… we talked, a lot but she's forgiven me... I fucked up big time I know." Derek paused, "Addison tell you she's pregnant too?"

Mark nodded, "Finding out on the day she discovers her fiancé has been messing around with fellow attendings must've really been great." He said sarcastically, "I can't believe she's forgiven you so easily."

"Neither can I." He was incredibly thankful for it too but surprised nonetheless. It made him feel even guiltier. "She came home last night and it was as if everything had been forgotten…except I don't think I could ever forget. Honest to god Mark, nothing happened aside from the flirting but that was enough. It completely killed her yesterday…I haven't seen her so upset since Addie showed up…" Derek sighed. Talking about yesterday thoroughly depressed him. Mark's angry demeanour softened as his friend grew more distressed; Derek was clearly ashamed of himself. Derek lifted his head up and began speaking quietly, remorse evident in his voice.

"I have no idea why I flirted Mark. Pretty women come in here all the time and they're invisible. Then Alison shows up and I'm flirting back… and now I can't get the look Meredith gave me out of my head! God I'm such a bastard…"

Mark sat down opposite his friend who was looking at his hands, "Yeah you are Derek. But it's no good feeling sorry for yourself, it happened. You're lucky she loves you as much as she does…" He paused, "You thought about how you're gonna make it up to her?"

Derek shook his head, "No idea. Meredith knows how sorry I am but I want to show her how much I love her. I want her to know that she is the most important person in the world and that no one could ever take her place. And I don't want it to be cliché and cheesy." Derek smiled for a moment, "Although she does love the cheesy…"

Mark finally grinned, "Well I'm sure you'll think of something. But Derek, if this ever happens again I'm taking a knife to your penis. Addison too."

"Duly noted," Derek said grinning. "But it won't ever happen again. It just won't." He finished solemnly.

Mark nodded, "Good." Suddenly a mischievous smile spread across his face, "You know her friends are after your blood right? Last I heard they were planning to use leeches."

"What?! Meredith said something about shaving my hair… I'm a dead man aren't I?"

"Yup, but I have to say you deserve it."

"I guess I do. But my hair?!"

"Your hair isn't that great Derek."

"Now that's a lie and you know it." They looked at one another for a moment and then cracked up laughing, the tension from before gone. Mark's pager went off and he glanced down at it.

"911 the pit, gotta go Derek. I'll catch up with you later." Derek nodded in response and watched his friend dash out of his office. He tried to go back to his paperwork but his conversation with Mark had left his mind troubled. He had to do something for Meredith but what? Material gifts really meant nothing; a new diamond bracelet wouldn't make Meredith feel cherished. Suddenly an idea popped into his head and he grinned; it _was_ cheesy and cliché but it would make Meredith smile and be impossible for her not to feel special. He opened his desk drawer and got out the phonebook and started rifling through it.

* * *

"I can't believe you've forgiven the guy Mer, he's clearly an ass." George bitched to Meredith in the scrub room after surgery. "He practically destroyed you yesterday and then you just let it all go? Why?" 

"Because George, he's Derek. I love him. He's the father of my child, he's who I wanna wake up to, go to sleep next to and want to grow old with… yeah he hurt me yesterday, but you should've seen him… the whole thing practically destroyed him too." Meredith bit her lip, "Can we please just forget this ever happened? I know you and Alex are scheming ways of punishing him but please, just drop the whole thing." Meredith walked away from the sink and started drying her hands. Discussing the events of yesterday just thoroughly depressed her and the truth was she was still hurting. She and Derek were fine, she had forgiven him but there were still remnants of doubt in her mind. It was hard to ignore them when her friends refused to drop the issue.

Meredith pushed open the door of the scrub room and left without saying another word, tired and weary of the constant scrutiny her friends put her under. She pulled off her scrub cap and walked down the hallway, her eyes glued to the floor. Lost in her own thoughts, she failed to notice the person stood in front of her until she walked right into them and they huffed in disapproval.

Meredith's head shot up and she began to apologise until she realised who she was standing in front of, "Sorry! Wasn't watchin- oh… it's you." Meredith said unsurely to the pristine woman in front of her.

Alison looked down at Meredith, "Well maybe you should watch where you're going Grey. And it's Dr. Newton, not "you". Learn some respect." She said coldly, her lips curling in disgust. She looked Meredith up and down, "You know, I really don't understand what he sees in you, especially after that tantrum you pulled yesterday."

Meredith stared at her, "Excuse me?" She said in a quiet, shocked voice, "Tantrum?"

"You heard me. Tantrum. If that's the only way you see fit at keeping a man then you should know, men get tired of whiny women quickly." Alison folded her arms, eyes flashing angrily. Meredith was left dumbstruck, what had she done to earn such nastiness? She felt her eyes start to prick with tears and she angrily wiped them away.

"Tears again Grey? Deary me, you certainly can turn on the waterworks when it suits you." Alison said cynically, "Unfortunately though I'm not to be fooled by a few false tears. The way you behaved yesterday with Derek was outrageous…the poor man was acting as if something catastrophic had happened."

"I did nothing wrong!" Meredith said angrily, the tears and shock from earlier replaced with rage, "Derek should have told you about us from the beginning and he knows that. I'm sorry if the ring on my finger gets in the way of the plans you had for him but tough. How dare you accuse me of over reacting, you've got no idea how I felt yesterday! How would you like to be dismissed by some catty bitch whose been trying it on with your fiancé?!"

"Darling I wouldn't let it happen, my fiancé wouldn't get bored with me." Alison smiled nastily.

"You complete and utter bitch!" And with that Meredith lunged at the woman in front of her, ready to cause physical harm but her small frame was suddenly pulled back. The fiery blonde turned her head angrily to see who had stopped her and found Alex holding her back and Mark who was standing next to him, glaring at Alison. They had been stood at the nurses' station discussing a patient and had watched the entire argument unfold, stepping in before things got ugly.

"Alison, if I were you I'd disappear before Grey has a chance to finish this." Alison opened her mouth to reply but the warning look Mark shot her was enough for her to bite her tongue and stalk angrily away. Alex was still holding Meredith in his firm grasp which was difficult as she refused to stay still.

"Alex let me go!"

"Can't do that Mer."

"Why the hell not?"

"Because you and I both know if I do you're gonna go beat her to a bloody pulp. Whilst that wouldn't be so bad, your subsequent dismissal would be." Alex replied calmly, arms still firmly locked round her waist.

"She'd deserve whatever I did to her." Meredith huffed crossing her arms, "Did you hear what she said to me?!"

"Yeah Mer we did, but Alex is right, she's not worth your job." Mark said. Meredith sighed jadedly and nodded in agreement. She stopped wriggling and Alex slowly released his grip on Meredith, wary that she still might run off. She didn't though, just stood wearily with her arms crossed. Mark put his arms around her and started walking her towards his office, turning to Alex as he did.

"Leave this with me Karev, she'll be fine." Alex nodded and watched them walk down the hallway. Mark led her into his office and sat her down on the small sofa.

"You shouldn't have stopped me Mark, she had no right…" Meredith began.

"No Mer, I was right to stop you. Think how satisfied she'd be if you got fired. And I heard what she said Mer… none of it's true."

"I know… but what she said about me and Derek…about him being bored…"

"Meredith no! You can't think like that okay?" Mark cupped her chin and forced her to make eye contact with him. "What she said _isn't_ true, she was saying that to hurt you because she's jealous. Because even though Derek acted like a superb _idiot_ yesterday and for the past three weeks, he only really has eyes for you. You're it for him Mer, you know how guilty he's feeling?"

"I do…this morning he was walking on egg shells…" Meredith paused, "He can't find out about this. I don't want him feeling any crappier…"

Mark chuckled, "You Meredith Grey are possibly the most forgiving person I've ever met."

"Not really. It's just, well, he's Derek isn't he?" Meredith smiled sadly, "It hurts to see him upset…" Mark nodded and leaned forward to kiss her on the head.

"I get it Mer. Now, if I let you loose in this hospital I'm not gonna find myself in surgery later having to repair the features of a certain British doctor am?" His eyes twinkled and Meredith smirked back.

"No. I'll be good."

"Alright then. Let's get back out there, what's that thing Derek always says? Lovely day to save people?"

"Beautiful morning to save lives," she corrected giggling. She stood up and opened the door, Mark behind her. She stopped and turned around to face Mark.

"Thanks Mark."

"No problem Mer, none whatsoever."

* * *

Several hours, many phone calls and a craniotomy later, Derek was in his office putting the final parts of his plan together. The door suddenly swung open to reveal a severely annoyed Cristina. 

"This better be good Shepherd, after yesterday I don't even know why I bother to respond to your pages." Her eyes narrowed angrily and she folded her arms.

"Cristina, I totally agree with you. Yesterday was well…awful. And that's exactly why I paged you. I need help."

Cristina's eyes softened slightly but they remained suspicious as they watched Derek, "With what?"

"Yesterday Meredith doubted me, us, our whole relationship because of what I did. So I need to reassure her, need to let her know that she's all I'll ever want and need, who-"

"Alright McDreamy, I get that you love her." Cristina smirked, "What exactly do you have in mind?" Derek proceeded to tell Cristina her plan and by the end she was in stitches.

"You've gotta be kidding me Derek! That is damn near the cheesiest thing I've EVER heard… you've met Meredith right? Dark, twisty, cynical blonde?"

"I know, but this is so ridiculously over the top that she'll love it!" Derek grinned, looking very pleased with himself.

"Well for your sake I hope you're right. Where do I come into this?"

"Just make sure that she's in the hospital lobby at 8.30pm this evening. Ensure she doesn't get holed up in surgery or with paperwork, just get her to the lobby. Think you can do that?"

"I'm Cristina Yang, I can do _anything_." Cristina said smugly, "I gotta say, after yesterday I was all ready to despise you but I think you've redeemed yourself. Pull a stunt like yesterday again though and I will kill you."

"Mark said pretty much the same thing this morning and like I said then, nothing like yesterday is ever gonna happen again."

"Well good." Cristina's pager went off, "Right, I gotta go. See you at 8.30! I can't wait to see how Meredith takes this…" She left his office chuckling to herself. Derek smiled happily, by this evening things would be back to perfect. He glanced at the clock, 7 o'clock, just over an hour to go. Derek opened his desk drawer and got out some files he'd set aside to look over. He was in the middle of one when he heard the door open. Still smiling, he looked up expecting the intern who was monitoring his patients. His smile turned into a frown when he saw Alison standing over his desk.

"Alison…what're you doing here?" He said cautiously.

"Why Derek, I would've thought that as your friend I wouldn't need an excuse to show up!" Alison said teasingly.

Derek shifted uneasily, "Yeah Alison, about the friends thing… I've thought it over and I really I don't think it's gonna work. Not anymore. Meredith really wouldn't be happy…"

Alison frowned, "So now she's back in this hospital you take instructions from her? Derek I thought better of you."

"I don't take instruction from her but I think she would be right to feel a little upset if she knew we were still going to be friends after yesterday."

"Derek you can't let that little _thing_ boss you around! We are two perfectly sensible adults, able to have a purely_ platonic_ friendship. The woman is clearly delusional. If I were you I'd have a talk with Meredith, I had one myself earlier."

"You did what?"

"Had a talk with Meredith. Derek yesterday her behaviour was absolutely appalling, similar to that of a spoilt child, so I told her so. Can you believe she even tried the crying thing with _me_? Feisty little beast too, tried to attack me before Dr. Sloane and that plastics resident stopped her." Alison giggled at the memory.

"Let me get this straight," Derek said, his temper starting to wane, "You had a talk with her? And she started crying? And then Mark and Dr. Karev had to forcibly stop her from attacking you?"

"Yes, ridiculous isn't it?"

"Get out of my office Alison."

"What? Because of what I just told you? Derek don't be stu-"

"Stupid? Alison, not being friends is possibly one of my smarter decisions of the past 3 weeks! If there was any doubt before there is certainly none now. I'm not going to call myself the friend of a person who insults my fiancé and then make out that she is the one with the problem. Whatever you say yesterday was completely my fault and Meredith had a right to be upset. It is not all in her head, she was not doing it for attention and from the sounds of it she had grounds for assaulting you." He stood up and walked over to the door and opened it, "Now please kindly vacate my office."

Alison stared angrily at him before storming out; her heels clicking angrily all the way down the corridor. Derek groaned and slammed the door shut and walked back over to his desk still fuming. Up until that point, Alison had seemed nothing but charming but now? Now he regretted every moment spent in her company. His mind wandered on to Meredith. He'd seen her at lunch and she hadn't said anything to him. Neither had Mark or Alex and he'd even had a consult with Mark but nothing. This wasn't fair on Meredith; she was not telling him on purpose and that meant she was bottling it inside, probably with the view that she was protecting him. Derek groaned; this was entirely his fault. _Well_, he thought, _by this evening she'll have no doubt left in her mind and hopefully whatever Alison said will be forgotten completely._

* * *

At 8.30pm exactly, Meredith stood waiting for the elevator with Cristina, slightly annoyed with her friend. 

"I still cannot believe you told Burke I wanted to go home to be with Lily instead of assist him on that transplant surgery! You deliberately mummy-tracked me and you didn't even want it in the first place!"

"Yeah well, the amount you go one about her I would've thought you'd be grateful to be getting home at a decent time this evening." Cristina retaliated as they stepped into the lift.

"Cristina, I love my daughter but I also love surgery i.e. the thing I've not done for like three months!"

"Alright alright! I'm sorry Mer, I promise I will never interfere again."

"Such a lie." Meredith chuckled, she wasn't really angry. The surgery would've been amazing but being with Lily gave an equally satisfying rush.

"Sorry I snapped Cristina."

"Nah it's cool, you've had a pretty shit couple days…I heard about your debacle with Newton."

"Oh. That. Yeah it was unpleasant."

"Told Derek?"

"No, I'm hoping he doesn't find out…"

"So not gonna happen."

"Yeah. Still, maybe I can avoid the subject for tonight at least." The lift stopped on the ground floor and they walked out and headed for the exit. However, they were blocked by a crowd of doctors, nurses, waiting relatives and other hospital staff, a brass band and to Meredith's horror, Derek. She stopped and grabbed her friend's arm.

"Cristina, please can you give me a decent explanation as to why Derek is standing with a brass band and a crowd of people. Now."

"Er…"

"Yeah I thought so. There isn't one." Meredith gulped and started to turn back but Derek spotted her.

"Meredith! Meredith!" He ran towards her and the crowd parted and turned to face her. Derek reached her and grabbed her small hand and pulled her back towards the crowd.

"Derek what the hell _is_ this?" Meredith said in a small desperate voice.

Derek turned to face her, "This Meredith, is for you." And with that he signalled to the band and they suddenly burst into song. Meredith's jaw dropped in disbelief as Derek started to sing to her; Cristina not helping matters by collapsing into a heap of giggles.

"_The first, the last, my everything and the answer to all my dreams; you're my sun, my moon, my guiding star, my kind of wonderful, that's what you are!_" Derek pointed towards Meredith, shaking his hips to the rhythm, making Meredith cringe even more. Derek walked to stand opposite her and grabbed her hand and placed it on top of his heart, still continuing to sing.

"_I know there's only, only one like you there's no way they could have made two. You're all I'm living for, your love I'll keep for evermore, you're the first, you're the last, my everything!_" Derek continued in similar fashion for the whole song until eventually the band finished and he was left standing in front of her. Meredith found to her surprise she was smiling, a broad wide grin that was seemingly endless. Possibly the most embarrassing moment in her life, it also made her believe Derek again when he said she was it for him, she was the love of his life and there wasn't anyone else. She grabbed Derek and pulled his head down and kissed him deeply, eliciting whoops and cheers from the watching crowd.

"You are so cheesy, you know that?" She whispered into his mouth, continuing to kiss him.

"Yup, but you love it."

Meredith pulled back and giggled, "I do, I love you so much Derek. Even if you can't sing or dance!"

"I love you too Mer." He pulled her into a hug and nodded towards the band and the musicians began to vacate the hospital. The conductor threw him a cheery wave and followed his colleagues. Cristina nodded approvingly at Derek and left. The crowd started to disperse and go back to their previous activities, be it running labs or waiting for news of a loved one and soon it was just Meredith and Derek standing in the busy lobby, oblivious to anyone but themselves.

Eventually though Derek pulled back and looked down at Meredith who was still smiling.

"Believe that you're it for me?"

"Uh-huh."

"Good." He kissed Meredith on her head, "Right, there is a little girl that needs collecting and then I need to drive my two girls home and cook dinner." Meredith grinned and nodded, taking his hand and leading him towards the hospital nursery, humming Barry White to herself and muttering, "I can't believe you hired a brass band AND danced in public…"

**So yeah... Derek properly makes things better AND tells Dr. Newton where to go. But this isn't the end of her, oh no. I've got plans... Next update isn't going to be for a while probably. Anyway, please review :) xxxxxx**


	12. Family

**Okay things I probably need to apologise for. I don't know Connecticut all that well, I do however know that Greenwich is in Connecticut and that it is reasonably close to NYC. At least I think it is. If it's not I'm sorry, I'm British, that's my excuse lol. Also, we're back to the fluff… well, it is fluffy but there is some unpleasantness. Also, whilst in Italy, I completely broke my computer so this is the final update for a while I am afraid, all the other chapters I'd written were lost. Kinda put me off this fic for a while... I'm going to try and write some more soonish though :) and I'm working on a new story too, it's very very AU though lol. Enough on that though, on to the fic  
**

On the 23rd December, Derek and Meredith were in a hire car on their way to Greenwich, Connecticut. Both Meredith and Lily were fast asleep, worn out from travelling and in Lily's case, crying. The flight hadn't been a comfortable one and no one was more grateful than Derek to be back on solid ground after such a horrendous journey. Now, driving to his mother's house, he thought about how awful a day it had been.

* * *

Almost two months into her pregnancy, Meredith's morning sickness was in full swing and flying only exacerbated her nausea; Derek had watched in horror as her face slowly turned greenish and pale during take off. As soon as the seatbelt signs had been switched off she'd bolted for the toilet and after twenty minutes of throwing up she was just returning, looking like she was at death's door muttering something about hating flying. She slumped down beside Derek, who had Lily buckled onto his seatbelt on his lap, and groaned. He turned to look at her and her eyes were shut tight and her hands were clutching the armrests, so tightly her knuckles had turned white. He reached a hand over and stroked her hair and kissed her forehead gently. 

"I blame you Derek." Meredith began quietly, her eyes still shut, "This is all your fault. If you hadn't jumped me I wouldn't feel sick and if you hadn't agreed to spend Christmas in Connecticut I wouldn't be on this plane. I'd be at home with a bottle of tequila and Cristina."

Derek chuckled, "Is that so? And just where did me and your daughter fit into the plan?" Meredith didn't say anything and Derek laughed again, immediately regretting it as her face contorted in discomfort. "I'm sorry you're feeling shitty Mer, but we'll be in New York in a few hours. Just try to sleep it off sweetheart." She grunted in acknowledgement, "You want me to ask the stewardess for some water?"

"Mmmmm, that'd be good…" Meredith mumbled. Derek kissed her forehead again and rubbed her arm soothingly and then signalled for the stewardess to come over. The water arrived soon after and Meredith opened her eyes for a second as she slowly sipped the water and shut them again, trying to block out the nausea. Eventually she fell asleep.

Derek looked down at Lily who had been quiet up until that point. She was still asleep, peacefully sucking her dummy. Pacifiers, Derek thought, were a godsend. He looked briefly at the entertainment guide but decided that watching a crappy movie on a small screen wasn't really something he wanted to do. Looking at his girls Derek decided that the most productive way to spend this flight was asleep so he shut his eyes and waited for sleep to overcome him.

He'd barely shut his eyes though when he felt the plane jolt and his eyes snapped open just as a passenger announcement began.

"_Passengers are asked to return to their seats and fasten their seatbelts. We are currently experiencing mild turbulence and we've got a couple of bumps up ahead. Thank you."_

Derek groaned; turbulence was going to make Meredith feel even worse. She opened her eyes blearily and moaned clutching her stomach as the plane shook. Derek grabbed her hand and placed it between his, stroking it gently. She looked at him, her face a mixture of sickness and pain.

"Derek… I don't feel so good…" She looked at Derek through pleading eyes, "I really need to throw up!" The plane jolted again and her hand went to her mouth, clamping it shut. If that wasn't enough, Lily had just woken up and the sudden movements sent her into a fit of crying. Derek un-strapped her and began to rock her whilst at the same time trying to figure out how to make Meredith feel better. It was no use he thought, she was just going to have to throw up. He fumbled one-handed in the seat pocket and retrieved one of the airline sickness bags whilst continuing to rock his daughter who miraculously began to quieten.

"Mer, throw up in here," and he passed the bag to Meredith who eyed him with disgust.

"Are you kidding me Derek? I can't throw up in a bag, that's what retards do." She grimaced as the plane shook again and her eyes shut tightly.

"Well the toilets aren't really an option at the moment Mer so the airline sickness bag is your only option here." He said brusquely, at once regretting his harsh tone. He stopped and looked at her; she looked so distraught and helpless and tears had begun to escape making him feel wretched. He brushed the hair off her sweaty brow and started speaking again, this time more softly.

"Hey I'm sorry Mer, I didn't mean to be so blunt… it's just seeing you so helpless and knowing I can't fix it is frustrating. But Mer baby, you need to throw up. I realise that sounds awful and disgusting, but we both know you feel like crap and being sick is the only thing that will make you feel marginally better. And sweetheart, I'm not gonna care if you're sick in a bag and I'm the only one that matters on this plane so forget everyone else." Meredith nodded and he kissed her forehead again, "Okay Mer, the next time you feel the need to hurl you go ahead sweetheart?" Meredith nodded again and he sighed in relief.

He was about to say something else but Lily started crying again as the plane jerked about and this time she wasn't going to be calmed by gentle rocking. She began to scream, her lungs working in over drive and, regardless of what Derek did, she just wouldn't stop. People began to stare at them, frowning at his inability to calm his daughter

The plane shook violently again and Lily's screams intensified. It was also the final straw for Meredith who suddenly lunged forward and began to vomit into the paper bag. Derek did his best to both comfort his daughter and help Meredith. The sound of crying and vomiting filled the plane and he could feel his fellow passengers' eyes upon them. After what seemed eternity, the plane stopped shaking and the seatbelt light went off again. Meredith looked up from her paper bag and burst into loud noisy tears.

Derek put his arm around her, "Hey shhhhh, no tears Mer, no tears. I can't deal with both my girls crying," she looked at him and sniffed and tried to stop her sobs, "Mer, I want you to go to the bathroom and lock yourself in there until you feel better. Go wash your face and your mouth and try and forget what just happened okay? I'll be right here waiting for when you come back." Meredith remained silent, wiping her eyes and just nodding as he kissed her cheek and rubbed her arm. Meredith undid her seatbelt and stumbled over to the toilet and locked herself in.

Derek signalled one of the stewards over again and after apologising profusely, he uncomfortably asked them to dispose of the bag that was filled with Meredith's vomit. Lily had finally begun to settle and her cries had turned into grizzly sobs.

"Come on princess, quieten down for daddy. I know you hate flying, probably as much as mummy does but it'll be over soon," he whispered softly, rubbing her back. He picked up her discarded dummy and rinsed it with some of Meredith's water.

"I know it's not properly sterilised sweetie but Evian will have to do," he said as he placed the pacifier in Lily's mouth. She immediately began to suck on it and Derek sighed in relief, "Thank god!" he groaned and he leaned back and shut his eyes. He felt movement on his left and saw that Meredith had returned from the bathroom looking a lot happier and less ill. She lifted up the armrest that separated them and snuggled closer to Derek.

"Hey," she said leaning against him.

"Feel better?"

"Much…stomach still feels a bit jittery but nothing like before…god that was horrible Derek." She shut her eyes in shame.

"Mer don't worry about it… as long as you're fine then nothing else matters." He shifted to look at her and she smiled up at him. He bent his head and kissed her gently, her mouth tasting minty and sterile. She sighed happily and shut her eyes again. Before she knew it, Meredith was asleep. Derek kissed her hair one last time before falling asleep himself, Lily curled up in his arms and Meredith snuggled against him.

* * *

"Derek?" Derek was shaken from his thoughts and he briefly looked at Meredith who had woken up. 

"Yeah sweetheart?"

"How long is it before we get there?"

"Bout a twenty minutes, why?"

"I really need to pee…"

Derek chuckled, "There's a gas station coming up I think, there was a sign a couple miles back. We can stop if you want?"

"Don't worry; I think I can stand twenty minutes." She smiled at Derek and sat up stretching. She pushed the hair out of her face and tied it up into a messy pony tail. They drove in silence for a while, the sun beginning to set, nothing but the radio to distract them. Meredith turned her face from the window and looked at Derek.

"Today was pretty crappy huh?"

"Crappy is the understatement of the year Mer," he laughed, "God I felt awful for you… I'm so sorry I made you do this…" Derek said seriously.

"Derek, when you planned this I wasn't pregnant…so don't blame yourself okay? I didn't mean what I said earlier about blaming you… that was just me being hormonal and ill. I love you Derek, you were so ridiculously calm and lovely on the plane… especially with Lily. You're amazing you know that?" She leant over and kissed his cheek and then settled back in her seat, Derek smiling happily as his eyes focused on the road ahead.

Twenty minutes later they were pulling up in his mother's drive. Meredith collected Lily from her car seat whilst Derek grabbed their bags from the trunk. They walked up to the front door and Meredith was just about to knock when it flung open to reveal Edith Shepherd.

"Meredith! You're finally here! Come on inside out of the cold sweetheart," she ushered Meredith and Lily inside and then greeted Derek.

"Derek sweetie, how are you?" She said kissing his cheek, "Let me take one of those from you!" And before he could stop her, his mother had taken the heavier of the two bags.

"Hi mum," he chuckled as he followed her inside, shutting the heavy oak door behind him. The house was ridiculously Christmassy; streamers hung from the ceiling, tinsel was round by the stair case banister and he could smell the cinnamon candles that his mother burnt. Through the door to the living room he could see a tall Christmas tree, lovingly decorated, a stack of presents already waiting underneath. Derek set the suitcase at the foot of the stairs where his mother had put the first and walked into the kitchen and found his mother cooing over Lily who was looking at her grandmother through curious blue eyes.

"You've gotten so big since I last saw you Lily! Aren't you a cutie!" Meredith giggled, "Meredith she's absolutely gorgeous, more so than when I saw her last. She looks just like you, except she's got Derek's eyes. All the Shepherds have the same blue eyes." Edith kissed her granddaughter on the nose earning a happy gurgle from the smiling infant.

"Thanks Edith…" Meredith smiled self-consciously, not used to such affectionate attention. "Do you want to hold her?" Edith nodded eagerly and took Lily from her and cradled her close. She and Meredith sat down at the kitchen table whilst Derek started to make tea.

"So Meredith, how've you been since I last saw you? Back at work yet?" Edith said kindly, rocking Lily gently.

"Um, yeah, been back for about 2 weeks now…it's taken some getting used to. I've hardly done anything the past couple months..."

"Still I bet you're glad to be back am I right? My girls couldn't wait to get back stuck into work."

"Being back at the hospital is great, I turned into a bit of a social outcast during my maternity leave…now I'm back I see my friends a lot more. I hate not seeing Lily as much though, that's the only drawback…" Edith was about to speak again when Meredith suddenly stood up from the table.

"Excuse me Edith… I've just remembered that I really need to use the bathroom!" Meredith left the kitchen quickly leaving Derek and Edith alone. Derek filled the teapot with boiling water and then set it down with three mugs on the kitchen table and joined his mother.

"So mum, how're you?"

"Fine Derek, fine. Had Nancy's kids last week when she and John went away so I've been busy." She looked at him, "You seem tired sweetie, you both do." She placed her hand over Derek's and smiled.

"I am mum, today has been long… I want nothing more than to curl up in bed!" He chuckled taking a sip of his tea.

"Well why don't you and Meredith have an early night? I'll put dinner on now and then you two can go straight to bed after we eat if you so wish. I'll put this darling in a bouncer and start cooking. You go sit down and watch some TV or something." She smiled at Derek and stood up and walked into her living room that was littered with her grandchildren's toys. She placed Lily in the baby bouncer and turned to see Derek behind her smiling.

"I've missed you mum," he said, "I'm sorry we don't visit more often…"

"Hush Derek, I understand how busy you are... it'd be nice if you still lived in New York but you don't. I'm just happy you're here." She smiled, "Now, I want you to sit your butt down and watch some TV. There's probably a holiday film on that you and Meredith can both watch whilst I'm cooking." She bustled past him, leaving him chuckling. Lily smiled up at him and he walked over to her and picked her up, not wanting to leave her in the bouncer.

"Your grandma is a force to be reckoned with isn't she? And she loves you by the way," he said to Lily as he walked over to the couch, "You're the new apple of her eye!" He kissed her curls and sat down and held her under her armpits so she was sitting up. He switched the channel and "The Wizard of Oz" flashed across the screen. It had just started so he left it on, not in the mood for anything serious. Five minutes in Meredith joined them on the sofa.

""The Wizard of Oz" Derek?" Meredith said raising her eyebrows.

"What? It's a classic! Our daughter should start appreciating it from an early age."

"I'm sure…" She sighed as she snuggled up to Derek, "I always forget how welcoming your mother is…it's kind of overwhelming sometimes!" She giggled.

"She can't help herself Mer, you and Lily are completely impossible to hate." He turned and kissed her quickly on the lips. "Now shush, the Munchkins are about to start singing!" Meredith laughed at his serious expression but did as she was told and watched the colourful film. She couldn't help but giggle when Derek started to dance with Lily, bouncing her on his lap, singing along to "Follow the Yellow Brick Road".

"Derek Shepherd, I had no idea you were such a such a girl!" She laughed at him, "How, after three years, have I missed it?!"

"Now Mer, we both know that's not true…I think I have proven that I am in fact very much a man." He winked suggestively at her and patted her stomach, "I just also happen to enjoy "The Wizard of Oz". You're just jealous because it's Lily on my lap and not you…"

Meredith giggled again, "Maybe I am…" She turned his chin away from the screen and kissed him. He responded eagerly and deepened the kiss, thrusting his tongue into her mouth and teasing her tongue. They pulled apart breathlessly.

"So my mum said we should have an early night…" Derek said casually, "I think she's right."

"Me too." Meredith said bluntly, giving him a sly grin. They settled back and continued watching the film, Lily mesmerised by the colour and music. They were about half way through the film when Edith called from the kitchen telling them dinner was ready. Meredith stood up and took Lily off Derek and walked into the kitchen. Derek entered not soon after and set the baby bouncer on the floor and Meredith placed Lily in it before going to sit at the table. Derek went to the fridge and grabbed a beer as his mother set a large pot on the table.

"Chicken casserole Meredith, Derek's favourite. Hopefully you'll like it too," Edith said enthusiastically. Derek sat down and grinned at Meredith and then looked at his mother.

"Cheers mum, it smells delicious." Edith served out three portions and they began to eat. Meredith remained silent whilst Derek and Edith chatted about his sisters. Once they had finished eating Meredith leaned back and sighed. Exhaustion had suddenly hit her and she wanted nothing more than to fall asleep. Edith noticed and nudged Derek who still talking. He stopped and his eyes softened.

Edith cleared her throat and began to sleep, "Derek, why don't you and Meredith go to bed. You've both had a long day and I can put Lily down to sleep. I'll put her in the kids playroom, I've got a cot all set up for her. You two look as if you need some rest." Meredith looked up at Edith who was smiling warmly at her.

"I'm fine… please, don't worry about me. Besides, Lily still needs to be fed…"

"Nonsense, I assume you've got milk pre-prepared?"

"Well yeah but…"

"But nothing Meredith," Edith smiled again, "I insist that my son take you up to bed. Lily and I will be just fine and I don't want you to worry, you need to rest. The next few days are going to be jammed packed, isn't that right Derek?" Derek nodded obediently, grinning amusedly at his mother and Meredith.

"So you need to build up your strength sweetheart. I just need Lily's things and then you can go to bed." Meredith nodded knowing that it would be futile to protest; Derek's mother was even more determined than he was. She wasn't used to it either, having an over-caring mother. Over-bearing yes, but Derek's mother was the complete opposite of her own and Meredith was secretly jealous of Derek and the affection his mother showed him.

"Her bag is the yellow holdall," Meredith said standing, "Thank you so much Edith…I can't say it enough!"

"Meredith dear it's my pleasure. Now go on young lady, up to bed. You too Derek!" She ushered them both out of the kitchen smiling cheerfully at them both. "I'll call you down for breakfast in the morning." And with that she turned round and walked back into the kitchen to do the washing up, humming to herself.

"Derek, you're mother is amazing you know that?" Meredith said beginning to climb the stairs.

"Indeed I do," Derek replied following him, carrying the suitcase. They walked upstairs and down the hall to Derek's bedroom. Meredith collapsed on the bed as soon as she entered the room, weary and tired. Derek dumped the suitcases and joined her, pulling her on top of him, running his arms up and down her body, settling them on the small of her back. Meredith laid her head on his chest and listened to his heart beating, the calm rhythm soothing her and making her feel even drowsier. She was falling asleep on Derek when he gently shook her.

"Mer… sweetheart you need to get undressed. I want you to have a good night's sleep after today… Let's get you in your pyjamas." Derek soothed speaking to her like her would Lily. She shifted off of him and sat up on the bed yawning. Derek stood up and went over to the suitcase and retrieved Meredith's pyjamas and walked back over to her. He began to slowly undress her until she was naked and he was about to put her pyjamas on when her hands stopped him.

"I want to sleep like this... I'm tired and exhausted and I want nothing more than to go to sleep next to you naked. No sex, just us, together; as close as we can possibly be..." And then Meredith lay down and waited for Derek to join her. The light switched off and she felt Derek's presence next to her. His arms snaked round her waist and pulled her up against him, feeling her body warm against his own. He kissed her shoulder and she felt herself drifting into unconsciousness. The last thing she remembered was Derek whispering "I love you" in her ear and then she was dead to the world, fast asleep and dreaming.

**So yeah, hope you liked it! I have no idea when the next update is going to be. It could be tomorrow, it might be in another few weeks, it depends how inspired I feel. Please read and review though! xxxx  
**


	13. Christmas Eve Morning

**I managed to get this written by the end of the week! I am happy lol :) I cannot say when the next update will be, probably not for a few weeks because I go abroad next week without contact with the world (no computers lol) and the 2 weeks after are jam packed with crap including my A level results and a music festival... but er, September looks good... I really hope you like this part because tbh I'm not 100 convinced. At the moment I'm a bit lost with the direction I'm taking this, I can see my characters like 5 months from this point in time in the story but the in between? Not really a clue lol (although I do have several ideas) so I'm afraid that will affect how often I update. But who knows, maybe next week will inspire me and I'll come back and write a million chapters :) Enough rambling from me though lol. I really hope you enjoy chapter 13!**

It seemed as if Derek and Meredith had only been asleep for a few minutes when they were woken abruptly by their infant daughter.

"Ohhhhhhhhhh…" Meredith groaned pushing the covers off, "Why does she have to cry so much?!" She said sleepily as she shuffled about the bedroom looking for something to wear. She saw a dressing gown hung on the door and pulled it on.

"Because she's 4 months old…" Derek said before yawning loudly, "Need me?"

"No…" Meredith sighed, "Just go back to sleep, hopefully she'll settle down quickly." She opened the door and padded down the hallway to the room where Lily was staying. She walked over to the crib and immediately knew what the problem was. She picked up her daughter and snuggled in her arms and went over to the changing table.

"You don't smell too great sweetie but we can fix that can't we?" Meredith said softly laying the little girl down on the changing mat. She quickly changed Lily's nappy and then picked her up and sat down on the bean bag chair and began to gently rock her daughter. She must have fallen asleep because the next thing she knew Lily was being lifted from her arms. Her eyes opened in surprise as the warm weight of her daughter was removed and was met with Derek who was carefully placing Lily back into the crib. He turned round to Meredith and smiled at her.

"You've been gone almost 2 hours… I woke up and you weren't there…" He said quietly walking over to her and bending down so he was crouching on the floor. He took both her hands in his and looked up at his weary fiancé.

"Sorry Der… I'm just so ti-ti-tiiiired…" Meredith yawned and struggled to keep her eyes open. "I feel pretty shitty too…"

"Let's get you back to bed then sweetheart," Derek softly stroking her hands and before she knew it Meredith had been picked up and was being carried back to bed. She was soon in the soft comfort of the large double, Derek spooned around her. She felt him kiss the back of her neck and inhale her and she snuggled close up against him.

"Night Der."

"Night Mer." And with that they were both fast asleep.

* * *

At six o'clock the next morning Meredith woke up suddenly, the familiar nauseous feeling stirring her from slumber. She groaned as her stomach churned and tried to go back to sleep, shutting her eyes and mentally willing the desire to throw up to disappear. She looked across at Derek who was sleeping peacefully next to her, his arms wrapped around his pillow, clutching it desperately. She was about to lean across and kiss him when she felt her stomach jolt and bile rose up her throat. Meredith threw the covers back and jumped out of bed and ran into the small en suite that joined Derek's bedroom, slamming the door behind her. She threw her head into the toilet bowl and immediately began to be sick. 

Derek was woken and pulled from his dreams when he heard the door slam. He looked at the empty space beside him and heard the sound coming from the bathroom and without thought he too jumped out of bed and walked into the bathroom. His heart broke when he saw Meredith bent over the toilet bowl, clinging to it as if her life depended on it. He crouched down beside her and rubbed her back soothingly. He felt her shudder but didn't say anything; he just pulled back her hair which had begun to fall towards her face and continued to rub her back. Eventually her retching stopped and Meredith lifted her head from the bowl and slumped against it and groaned. Derek stood up and flushed the toilet and then gathered Meredith in his arms and lifted her gently into to the bath. He turned on the shower attachment and tenderly began to wash away the morning's unpleasantness. Meredith watched him silently, allowing herself to be scrubbed and cleansed. Derek's hands moved across her body softly and adoringly and the fatigue and discomfort of before seemed to not feel half as bad.

Once Meredith was washed, Derek turned off the water and placed her arms around his neck and he lifted her easily out of the bath and wrapped her up in a fluffy white towel and kissed the tip of her nose. He grabbed one of the toothbrushes his mother had set aside and quickly squeezed some toothpaste on to it and passed it across to Meredith who smiled gratefully at him and began to brush away the vile taste in her mouth; her mouth was soon minty and fresh. She set aside the toothbrush and turned back to Derek who was looking at her, his face smiling and kind.

"What?" She asked.

"Nothing…I just…" He paused as if trying to find the right words, "…love you."

"Oh." She grinned at him and then he was kissing her, one hand in her hair, the other cupping her chin gently. He pulled back and looked down at her, eyes shining.

"I love you so much Mer…and I can't believe you're going through all of this again, after what I did… I just can't believe you're mine… It's like I'm living someone else's life… If you'd said to me three years ago that now I'd be in love with the most amazing woman, that I'd have the most beautiful, gorgeous daughter, that I had another child on the way… I'd never have believed it…" He kissed her again and then looked at her seriously, "Do you feel okay now?"

"More than…thanks Der, for being my knight in shining whatever…" Meredith bit her lip and grabbed Derek's hand, "I'm glad you're here with me for this."

"So am I." He smiled down at her and kissed her lovingly. His other hand crept down and he rested it on her still flat stomach and she placed her own petite one on top. Their kiss deepened and they closed the gap between their bodies. As Meredith brushed against Derek's erection he gasped between kisses, earning a giggle from Meredith.

"You sir are far too horny for your own good…" Meredith teased, her eyes glistening with mirth. She leaned upwards and kissed his jaw again and then settled herself in his arms, his head resting on hers.

"That may be true Mer…" Derek chuckled, "But Mer, this doesn't have to lead anywhere…" He said seriously. They hadn't had sex since before the incident involving Alison. It wasn't because Meredith was angry, felt unsure or upset; it just hadn't felt right. There had been affectionate touching and kissing but none of this had led to sex. The last few weeks without intimacy had been difficult but Derek knew it was no less than he deserved and besides, he had gone 3 months without sex, he could deal with a few weeks. But it seemed now that Meredith couldn't. She dropped her towel to the floor and moved closer to Derek, his erection pressing against her abdomen.

"Maybe I want it to lead somewhere…" Meredith said lasciviously, a grin on her face. She lifted her head again and began kissing him but this time her hand wasn't resting on his hip as it had before, it was wrapped around his aching erection, stroking up and down the length, eliciting a groan from Derek. It wasn't long until Derek's own hand found its way into her soft wetness.

"Oh god Der…" She moaned into his mouth and her grip tightened as shocks of pleasure rippled through her body. They hastily moved out of the bathroom and into the bedroom, still entwined and kissing. They fell onto the bed in a heap, rubbing, stroking, kissing each other; only their soft moans broke the soft silence of the morning. Neither were going to last much longer, the remaining tension of the past few weeks evaporating as they each neared their climax.

"Inside Derek, you have to be inside me…" Meredith writhed beneath him moaning desperately. Derek just nodded and kissed her on the lips. He laid her back gently on the bed and positioned himself at her opening, wrapping her legs around him and pushed in hard. She gave a yelp of pleasure and then opened her eyes to look up at Derek who was smiling down at her. They moved together, their hips meeting in perfect rhythm until they both came with loud moans of satisfaction. Derek pulled out of Meredith and slumped down beside her, pulling his satiated fiancé on top of him.

"God that was…" Meredith breathed, struggling to find the words.

"I know…" Derek nodded in agreement kissing her hair. She yawned noisily and he laughed quietly, stroking her hair. She mock glared at him and then nestled herself against his body, one arm curled up, the other sprawled across his chest. She almost immediately fell asleep and snuffled quietly making Derek smile and kiss her hair affectionately.

"I love you Mer," he whispered and then he too fell asleep in the comfortable silence of Christmas Eve morning.

* * *

At about nine Derek woke up to his mother knocking on the door informing him that his sister Nancy was arriving shortly and that breakfast was on the table if he wanted. 

"Okay mum, I'll be down in a bit," he called back softly and he removed the covers and got out of bed. He walked over to the window and looked out at the breathtaking view. The countryside here really was something else… He turned around when he heard Meredith speaking quietly.

"Is it time to get up?" She said lifting her head to look at him before collapsing once again on her pillow. He walked back over to the bed and kissed her eyelids and stroked her hair.

"Not for you Mer, you go back to sleep," Derek whispered, "I'll tell mum to keep some breakfast back for you okay?"

"Mmmmmm that so-o-oooo-unds great Der," Meredith yawned in reply. He tucked her back up again under the covers and placed a final kiss on top of her head and then walked into the bathroom to shower. Once he was washed and dressed he carefully opened the bedroom door and walked into the hall, shutting it behind him quietly so as not to wake Meredith again. By the time he got to the kitchen Nancy had already arrived with her husband John and they were sitting at the kitchen table together whilst Edith busied herself with making coffee. The smell of freshly baked muffins filled the air and he was delighted to see a stack of blueberry ones in the middle of the oak kitchen table.

"Morning Derek," Edith said as she looked over her shoulder.

"Morning mum, Meredith is gonna sleep for a bit more okay?" Derek said. Edith nodded and he kissed her cheek before greeting his sister who had stood up when he'd entered the room.

"Nancy!" Derek enveloped his big sister in a hug.

"Derek! It has been far, far too long," Nancy said smiling. They both sat down at the table and Derek reached for a muffin.

"Nance we saw each other like three months ago when Lily was born," Derek said grinning, "Hi by the way," Derek said holding his hand out to his sister's husband.

"Hey," John said smiling, "You should know it's been the longest three months ever don't you? Your sister never shuts up about how we never see you anymore."

"That's because I live in Seattle, it's not like I live in New York anymore," Derek said chuckling before turning back to Nancy, "What do you expect Nancy? Me to jump on a plane every month?"

"That's exactly what I expect little brother, glad we're on the same page," Nancy replied winking at her husband.

"So where're the kids?" Derek said changing the subject.

"Oh they're in the living room watching Cinderella." Edith said coming over to the table with a pot of coffee and four mugs. "It's their favourite at the moment."

"How are they all?"

"Well thanks," Nancy said. "Katie just started kindergarten, she's loving it. Won't be long until Lily starts school…" Nancy teased.

Derek looked at her stricken, "Take that back!"

"Nope." Nancy said poking her tongue out at him.

"You are cruel Nancy Evans."

"So true." She said standing up giggling. "Anyway, I'd love to stay and wind you up Der but me and John only came to drop the kids off. We've got wrapping to do!"

"You've not done it yet?!" Derek asked disbelievingly. Nancy rolled her eyes at him and folded her arms and gave him a "do-not-push-me" look.

"Alright Mr Perfect you tell me when we were supposed to. When I was at the hospital with my arm up someone's vagina or maybe when John was in court dealing with murderers?" Nancy frowned, "Besides, we have 3 children who know what Christmas is and they all expect large obscenely colourful gifts."

"Point taken…" Derek replied meekly, "I guess I've got it lucky huh?"

"That you do but don't worry, it doesn't last long. They grow up fast!" John said winking. He picked up his keys from the kitchen table and turned to his wife. "Ready to go sweetheart?"

"Yup, just need to say bye to the kids. You can come too Derek, they've been talking about "Uncle Derek" for weeks now…" Nancy said walking out of the kitchen, John following her obediently.

"Derek?" Edith said before he left, "Is Meredith okay? She looked awfully peaky yesterday and I was going to ask last night but I forgot… Should we get Dr. Prewitt round?" Dr. Prewitt was the Shepherd family doctor who had been with them since Derek was small. He was not someone Meredith needed to see and be examined by.

"Er, no… don't worry, I think Meredith is just _really_ tired, she'll be fine after some rest…" Derek lied. His mother would kill him when she found out that they kept the pregnancy from her but a massive family Christmas was already enough for Meredith to deal with; everyone crowding round congratulating her would not put her in an amicable mood; he quite liked sleeping next to her and he knew his punishment would involve him finding alternative arrangements.

"Well if you're sure…" Edith replied.

"I am."

"Okay then… well, you'd best go and say hello to your nieces. I've left Lily sleeping, is that okay?"

"That's fine mum, I'll get her after I've said hey to my nieces," He smiled, "Thanks for putting her to bed last night mum…" The door slammed signalling Nancy and John had left.

"Don't mention it dear," Edith smiled back at her son, "Now, go on! Go say hey to those little munchkins!" She pushed him out of the kitchen and he strode into the living room and was immediately pounced upon by three little girls.

"Uncle Derek!" They chorused as they hugged his legs. Derek bent down and picked up Katie who immediately placed a sloppy wet kiss on his cheek.

"I missed you Uncy Der," the little girl said quietly before leaning her head on his shoulder.

"I missed you too peach! But me and Aunt Meredith are gonna be here for a whole week, doesn't that sound nice?" Derek said kissing his niece on the forehead.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Naomi and Amelia screamed in unison and they jumped up and down in excitement. Amelia was eight and Naomi was seven and Derek was their hero.

"You gotsa play wiv us Uncle Derek, lots and lots." Katie said expectantly and Derek chuckled as he placed back on the floor with her sisters.

"Yeah! And I want to show the drawing I did at school, mummy says it's the best ever." Naomi said proudly sticking her chest out.

"The best ever huh?" Derek said bending down, "What about you Amelia, how have you been?"

"I was in a ballet recital and I wore pink." Amelia said in a matter-of-fact voice. "I got to wear a tutu. Daddy videoed it all too so you can watch it if you like…" She sucked her thumb unsurely and Derek ruffled her hair and smiled at the little girl.

"Well that would be wonderful peach, when you all come round tomorrow why don't you get mummy to bring it?"

"Okay Uncle Derek." Amelia smiled back at him, "Do you want to watch Cinderella? It's really good!"

"Yeah Uncle Derek watch Cinderella!"

"Please Uncy Der," Katie finished tugging at his sleeve.

"Uncle Derek has to go and get Lily peaches, she needs feeding." Derek said standing up, "But I promise we'll hang out later okay?"

"Okay," the girls said in unison.

"Do we getsa hold Lily?" Katie asked.

"I'm sure that can be arranged," Derek smiled at his nieces. They grinned back and then ran back to the sofa to finish watching Cinderella.

"See you later peaches," Derek said as he left the room

"Bye!!!!" Came the girls' cheerful chorus.

Derek shut the door grinning ear to ear; seeing his nieces made him realise how much he missed his family. He climbed the stairs and before he went to his daughter he poked his head in to take a look at Meredith. He smiled when he saw her; she was buried beneath the duvet and her small snores could just be heard. He shut the door again quietly and walked into his daughter's room. He found her wide eyed and awake playing with her toes. She stopped when she saw him and smiled in recognition.

"Is someone pleased to see their daddy princess?" He cooed as he lifted her out of the crib, "I bet that you're really hungry aren't you poppet?" He slung her gently over his shoulder and she grabbed on to his t-shirt with her fists gurgling happily.

"Now why is it you're so chirpy in the mornings huh?" He said rubbing her back as he walked down the stairs. "Why weren't you so happy last night when mummy was tired?"

"Because she is a bad tempered baby that's why," came a giggle from behind. Derek turned around and saw Meredith at the top of the stairs. She started to walk down and met Derek at the bottom. She stroked her baby's head and placed a soft kiss on her cheek before leaning up to Derek to peck him lightly on the lips.

"Meredith you don't need to be up… go back to bed sweetheart."

"I really don't want to Der…I've had sleep. I'm awake and now, now I want tea. Hot, sweet, milky tea." She grinned up at him and pulled her dressing gown tightly round her. "That okay?"

"No. You need rest Mer, you are going to slow down for this pregnancy," Derek replied in a quiet voice. "With Lily you just kept on pushing, never stopping once and what happened?"

"She was early…" Meredith hung her head guiltily. Lily had been perfectly healthy, just very small. But Meredith couldn't deny why she had gone into labour almost a month early, she'd refused to cut back on hours and had kept herself working. Derek told her to rest, Addison told her to rest, even Cristina told her to rest but she had refused. Throughout her pregnancy she had never once properly rested so it was understandable now that Derek was concerned.

"Derek, I. Will. Be. Fine. I promise. This time round will be different. Like now, I'll get tea and go sit on the sofa and _rest_ okay?" Meredith leaned up and kissed him again.

"Okay. You know I only nag because I love you right?" Derek replied, his eyes deep and caring.

"I know…I love you too." She smiled up at him, "Can I get my tea now?"

"What the lady wants…" Derek gestured with his hand for Meredith to go ahead into the kitchen and he followed.

"Meredith you're up!" Edith greeted her warmly from the kitchen table where she was reading a magazine. "What can I get for you darling? Eggs? Bacon? Maybe one of the muffins I made?" Meredith giggled at her mother-in-law's enthusiasm and generosity and shook her head.

"Don't worry Edith…I'm really not hungry..." She looked briefly at Derek and then back at Edith, "Just some tea would be good thanks." Meredith smiled at Edith who frowned slightly before standing up to put the kettle on.

"Are you sure Meredith? Because you're looking awfully pale…"

"Mum!"

"What? I'm concerned Derek, I'm a mother, I worry."

"I told you she was fine earlier…" Derek said passing Lily to Meredith who had sat down at the kitchen table and was looking a little anxious. Derek kissed her forehead reassuringly and then turned back to his mother.

"Mum, we're not kids okay?" His mother gave a small smile and fiddled with her rings.

"I know Derek… it's just I never see you both and I worry…" She sighed, "I'm sorry dear."

"S'okay mum, go sit down yeah? I'll make the tea. We can have the long chat we should've had yesterday." Meredith nodded at them both as she fed Lily and Edith beamed at her son.

"That sounds wonderful Derek." Edith sat down next to Meredith and Derek busied himself with the kettle and soon there was a fresh pot of tea in the middle of the table. Derek poured three mugs of it and then added 4 teaspoons of sugar and a lot of milk to one and passed it to Meredith who accepted it greedily. Edith added her own milk and Derek was just about to ask if she wanted sugar when she opened her mouth to speak.

"So, have you two set a date yet?"

**So yeah, a bit of a cliff hanger... but until the next chapter please review! xxxxxxxxxxxx**


	14. Edith finds out

**Omg I am so sorry this took so long to update. I have been so busy! I'm afraid updates maybe more like this in the future depending on how much time I have... But I'll try and write chapters as quickly as possible, I hate leaving you guys waiting for more! Hopefully you will all enjoy this part, it's quite fluffy at the end :) Er, word of warning though. Whilst it won't be for a while, something catastrophic might happen. No death, but er, the bright and shiny at the moment isn't going to last forever. And Alison might be returning... But that's way off in the future! For now have some happy!**

"_So, have you two set a date yet?"_

Derek dropped the sugar bowl and its contents spilt on the table; Meredith spluttered in surprise. A date? For their wedding? The thought seemed impossible, especially now that Meredith had fallen pregnant again. They had discussed it briefly but they had been so busy that they had pushed all plans of a wedding to the backs of their minds. It seemed though that Edith hadn't.

"A date?"

"Yes Derek, a date. For your impending nuptials." Edith frowned at their uncomfortable expressions. "You are still getting married aren't you? You're not going to be one of these "modern" couples who don't marry are you? Because I really think for the sake of Lily…"

"No mum, we're definitely getting married," Derek interrupted looking over at Meredith who nodded earnestly, "But we don't know when and it er, probably won't be for a while…Like a year or two…"

"Why on earth would you wait so long?!" Edith exclaimed, her face contorted in confusion

"I can't tell you…" Derek replied meekly.

"What?! Meredith what does he mean?" Edith said looking alarmed at Meredith. "Surely he's not speaking the truth?"

"Um…" Meredith looked at the floor meekly and snuggled Lily closer to her body. Edith folded her arms and pursed her lips.

"I don't believe this! Derek, is this your doing? Are you making her wait? Are you not sure?!!??!?"

"NO NO NO NO! Mum, honestly it's nothing like that!" Derek said earnestly, "I love Meredith, we love each other… something came up unexpectedly that's all…and I think well, it's best that maybe we wait…"

"Like what? Unless one of you were ill or your job changed or Meredith was preg-" Edith stopped and a look of understanding flashed across her face. She looked at them both carefully through narrowed eyes before turning to address Meredith directly. "You _were_ very tired last night, and ill this morning… I heard… and now you won't eat… Meredith, _are_ you pregnant?" She leaned forward and looked directly at her soon-to-be daughter-in-law.

Meredith was left speechless by her mother-in-law. If Edith had figured it out then it wouldn't be long before Derek's sisters knew and then there would be too much focus and attention on her… Her mind quickly filled with panic and she was unable to process anything; fear gripped her and she could feel her heart rate beginning to increase. It seemed that she had been silent for a lifetime, Edith was still looking at her and Derek too, it seemed, was lost for words. What should she say? Deny deny deny or tell the truth and face the full force of the Shepherd women?

"Meredith?" Edith snapped her out of her thoughts, her voice serious and it had lost some of its calm. "Are you?"

"Yes." It was a small whisper, it came from no where and as soon as it escaped Meredith wanted to take it back. Edith however looked like she could burst with happiness; her face had broken into a broad grin.

"Well this is wonderful! I can't believe that you didn't tell me! The girls will be ecstatic too, another little Shepherd!" Edith beamed at Meredith who gave a small smile in return before looking at Derek desperately. He nodded and coughed to get his mother's attention.

"Mum, you can't tell anyone."

"What? That's absurd Derek! Your sisters will have to know, how could you even think about keeping news like this a secret?"

"Because we only found out recently ourselves mum…"

"Ah, I see…it being unplanned though doesn't mean it should remain a secret."

"Please Edith…" Meredith piped up, cuddling Lily against her chest, "I just want a nice quiet Christmas…and if Derek's sisters find out I won't get that… The past couple weeks have been a bit difficult…" She glanced over at Derek who looked at the floor guiltily. "We'll tell them, I promise. Just not this week. Please."

Edith studied her almost daughter-in-law carefully with her kind blue eyes. Meredith looked stressed and tired and there was something that had been left unsaid she was sure and it had involved Derek. But she wouldn't push them to find out. Clearly whatever it was had been resolved she was sure.

"Alright Meredith, alright." Edith said quietly, reaching across for Meredith's hand, "I'll keep this to myself. But let me take care of you whilst you're here okay? I barely saw when you were pregnant with Lily, I want to make up for that…"

"Okay…that actually sounds rather wonderful," Meredith smiled at Edith, "Thank you for understanding."

"Yeah thanks mum…" Derek said smiling at them both. He stood up and gave his mother a hug, "You've no idea how much we appreciate this."

"It's nothing Derek…I'm just so happy I want to share! But I understand, dear, I do." Edith paused for thought and then looked sternly at Derek. "However, I do think you should set a date and soon. Pregnant brides are…not to be desired…" Edith fiddled with her rings nervously again as Derek frowned at her. Meredith swallowed nervously, not wanting to participate in the conversation, choosing instead to look back and forth between Derek and Edith as they bickered.

"Mum…"

"No Derek, no. You two should be married. It just isn't right for a poor girl like Mere-"

"Mum please, we don't need to be married to have another child. If we weren't expecting another then it would be different but as the situation stands we're going to wait. Marriage isn't a necessity anymore mum."

"Derek, Meredith needs stability. You need stability. Lily needs stability. Your unborn child needs stability. Marriage brings that."

"Mum!" Derek raised his voice slightly, "What are you implying? That I might _leave_ Meredith? That Meredith might _leave_ me?"

"Not at all Derek! But what if something happened to either of you? Where would you stand legally?"

"I can sort all that out mum with one phone call to my solicitor I'm sure."

"And just how does Meredith feel about all of this? Because if I were her-"

"I'm fine honestly!" Meredith piped up suddenly, fed up of being discussed as if she wasn't present. "Edith, I am. And quite honestly, I think that this conversation is going in a direction that I don't like so I'm just going to let you two handle it. I'm going to take Lily into the sitting room."

"But Mer-" Derek began but Meredith cut him off and scowled down at them both.

"Derek, just sit down and talk to your mother." And with that she flounced out of the kitchen and slammed the door; Lily slung over her shoulder, muttering angrily to herself, leaving Derek and Edith quite perplexed. Derek turned back to his mother, folded his arms and frowned.

"Happy now? See that is exactly why we didn't want to tell you about the pregnancy thing." Derek sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Mum, I love you, but you have a habit of being pushy you know that? And Mer, well, she's not good with pushy. Or overbearing. Or over caring. Or having a mother at all in fact."

"I know Derek, that's why I want to help…"

"I know mum, and offering to look after Mer while we're here was great, fantastic in fact. You saw how happy that made her. But pushing about the wedding…"

"But it's important Derek, surely you can see that?" Edith stared imploringly at her son, using the same fixed expression as Derek did when he wanted something. He sighed again, this time in defeat.

"I can mum, I can… and believe me, if it were up to me we'd be getting married soon. But Meredith is different to us mum, she's not used to having a family and people butting in and taking over her life." He looked down at the floor and started talking quietly.

"Do you know how difficult it was for us to even get to this stage? For the first few months of our relationship after the divorce Meredith refused to open up with me…there were times mum when I honestly thought we weren't going to make it… when her step mum died and Thatcher…" Derek grimaced as he remembered the day Meredith was slapped shockingly by her distant father. "We're lucky to be this far mum, to have Lily, to have another child on the way. God knows I love Mer more than anything but even I can't deny that she's the most stubborn commitment phobe I know… And honestly, had she not fallen pregnant again I'm sure the wedding would be something to talk about and focus on. It's come as a shock, believe me, this baby was not planned." Derek chuckled slightly. "Just give us some space okay? Give her some space. And I'll try and talk to Mer about the wedding, just as long as you don't." Derek looked back up at his mother whose eyes glistened slightly. She smiled at him kindly and nodded.

"I'll keep quiet sweetheart, I promise. I'm sorry… I just-"

"Worry, I know mum." Derek gave his mother a grin and stood up to kiss her on the cheek. "And I appreciate it, seeing Meredith with her tatter of a family made me realise just how lucky I am…"

"But Derek, it's not like that anymore! Surely she sees us as her family now?" Edith queried, concern etched on her face.

"She does mum, but it's not the same you know? It's hard for her to just settle in. She loves you guys though, I promise." Derek grinned again, "The visit to celebrate Lily's arrival might've been a tad overwhelming but believe me, she appreciated it."

"Well good." Edith chuckled, "I really do want Meredith to feel loved and cared for Derek, I truly do think of her as a daughter." She paused, "I really did love Addison darling, you know that but seeing you with Meredith is just completely different, you just-"

"Complete each other," Derek finished, "I know." He gave his mother a warm, proud grin, "Meredith is just so perfect mum, I could sing her praises for ever…"

"I know dear and that's exactly why I want to see you two married." She saw Derek's frown but ignored it, "But I'll keep quiet on the matter until you say it's alright, okay?"

"Okay." Derek paused, "I'm gonna go see Meredith mum, she kinda left abruptly and well-"

"Shush Derek, I understand. Go ahead, I've got to telephone a few people anyway. And send the girls in, I'll make them a snack. I'll see you in a bit."

Derek nodded and then pushed his chair back away from the table and stood up. He walked to the door and flashed his mother one last smile before leaving the kitchen in search of Meredith.

* * *

Meredith stormed out of the kitchen and the slamming door sent her daughter into a fit of tears. 

"Hey hey shhhhhhh missy, shhhhhh!" Meredith soothed as she rocked her daughter in the hall, "Mummy's sorry she got mad back there, she didn't mean to upset her princess." She snuggled her daughter close and kissed the top of her head but instead of Lily finding comfort in her mother, her screams intensified and Meredith groaned in annoyance.

"Alright sweetheart, alright. I know you're mad, mummy is too. Let's go find your cousins, maybe they can cheer us up…" Meredith continued to rock Lily, who thankfully began to quieten down, against her chest as she walked into the living room. Naomi, Amelia and Katie jumped off the sofa immediately when they saw their newest cousin and aunt.

"Aunt Merediff!" Katie ran over to her and hugged her leg, "Uncy Der said you were gonna be here for a week! S'at true?" Meredith giggled at the little girl and nodded.

"Yup, your grandma insisted we stay." She smiled down at her niece, "Now, how's about we all go sit on the sofa? I'm sure Lily would like to see all her cousins again." Katie grinned up at her and held up her hand for Meredith to take. They walked over to the sofa and Amelia and Naomi made room for her in the middle. Meredith sat down amongst the cushions and cradled Lily in her arms whilst Katie climbed back onto the sofa.

"Can I hold her?" Amelia asked, "I'll be really careful..." Meredith looked down at Lily who had finally stopped crying and was now looking up at her mother with her big blue eyes.

"Okay poppet but if she starts to cry I'll take her back okay?" Amelia's face burst into a huge smile and she nodded eagerly. "Okay then, sit down and I'll place her in your arms okay?"

"Uh-huh." Amelia nodded obediently and Meredith gingerly placed Lily in her cousin's arms, "Careful now, remember to support her head." Amelia nodded solemnly and held her cousin gently.

"She smells good Aunt Meredith," Amelia grinned up at her aunt, "All soft and nice."

"You haven't smelt her diapers!" All four giggled and Lily watched them all with her tiny inquisitive eyes. Katie leant forward to kiss her head and then turned back to Meredith.

"She's still _really_ tiny!" Katie remarked, "I 'fort she was 'apposed to get big!" Meredith giggled again and ruffled her niece's hair.

"Well, she will do sweetheart, but not for a couple years yet. But she's bigger than when you first met her, don't you think?" Meredith looked down lovingly at her daughter who looked back with a wide curious stare.

"I guess so... we wanted to play with her though..." Naomi frowned.

"I know sweetie, but she's still too little for that. You know what though?" Meredith smirked, "I heard Uncle Derek say that all he wanted to do this Christmas was play games with his nieces."

"Really?" Katie squealed with delight whilst her sisters grinned happily.

"Really." Meredith smiled to herself, that would teach him for the discussion in the kitchen. She sighed and sunk back into the soft cushions with her nieces who had also settled back down and were now watching Pocahontas. Meredith knew Edith meant well but she couldn't help feel a little overwhelmed. She wanted to marry Derek, she did but now she was pregnant again the chances of that happening probably weren't great. Edith was right, pregnant brides weren't cool and she didn't want to be one. Plus dealing with pregnancy and marriage at the same time... Her head was so full of thoughts that she didn't notice the door slowly creek open and she only realised Derek was in the room when she felt her nieces jump up from beside her.

"Uncle Derek! Aunt Meredith came and watched Pocahontas with us and she told us you wanted to play games with us all the time!" Naomi bounced up to him, a wide toothy grin spread across her face. Derek chuckled and mock frowned over at Meredith, who now had Lily snuggled against her chest once more and Amelia had joined her two sisters and Derek.

"She did huh?"

"Yup." Naomi replied, "All the time."

"All the time? That's a long time... what about your daddy? He won't be very happy if you only play with me."

"He can play too."

"We can play princesses and princes!" Katie giggled up at him.

"Well, that does sound fun... I don't think we can play all the time though peach, I'm a daddy to Lily now."

"Oh." Katie frowned up at him and then she and her sisters huddled for a minute, whispering to themselves before Naomi looked back up at Derek.

"We decided that you have to play with us _half_ the time. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, mummy taught us we had to 'gotiate the things we wanted." Amelia smiled proudly. Derek just nodded, his eyes dancing with mirth has he heard Meredith giggle.

"Okay, half the time. Right now though your Grandma wants you in the kitchen. She said something about cookies..." Immediately the three little girls pushed him aside and ran out of the door, their chatter carrying down the hall into the kitchen. Derek shut the door quietly and then walked over to sit beside Meredith.

"So have you and your mother finished discussing me?" Meredith asked snidely as Derek sat down. He sighed at her, his face setting in a frown before he pulled her closely to him and kissing her hair.

"Hey!" Meredith yelled as he wrapped his arms around her, "I didn't say you could snuggle with me and my daughter!"

Derek grinned, "_Your_ daughter?"

"My daughter. Daughters aren't shared with men who talk about others in front of them..." She attempted to frown at him but failed miserably, his wide smile and soft gaze ruining her charade of annoyance. She sighed and finally relented, allowing her stiff frame to relax against him.

"Mer..." He kissed her forehead, "I'm sorry alright? I didn't mean to discuss us with my mother like that, she just pushes so damn hard sometimes..."

"Yeah I know... But Derek, don't do it again alright? I felt like a small child in there."

"I won't I promise." He stopped for a moment before continuing, his voice soft and calm. "She has a point though Mer... we should get married. Especially now we've got another child on the way..." His hand found her flat stomach and rubbed it lovingly.

"I know." Meredith replied in a small, quiet voice. She turned in his arms, bringing a now dozing Lily closer to her chest and looked at him thoughtfully. "Derek, I want to get married, I do. Don't doubt that okay?"

"Okay," he nodded.

"But I can't think straight right now. This accidental completely unplanned pregnancy thing has completely messed with my rational thought process and I can't even begin to imagine how I would go about planning our wedding."

"It doesn't have to be large..." She frowned again and shook her head.

"No, you're right. But there's still loads of stuff. Like flowers. And food. And guest lists and bridesmaids and dresses. And then there is the dilemma of where we would actually have it. Seattle in the winter isn't pretty but it'd have to be in January or February because otherwise I'd be this fat pregnant bride who wasn't at all sexy and people would point and laugh Derek. Point and laugh." Meredith took a breath from her ramble and continued frowning at him.

"See, there is too much." She finished defiantly.

"Mer, all that stuff you just listed was details. Pointless stupid details. Details that could be sorted out by my family and yours. If you wanted I'm fairly certain that you do nothing except turn up in a white dress on the day. And as for where it should be, it could be here Mer, in Connecticut. There'd be snow at the end of January..." He leant down and kissed her nose, still smiling at his delightfully adorable fiancé.

"Snow?"

"Snow. And you know how pretty snow is..." He said huskily before capturing her lips in a kiss before pulling back to look at her again. "It's up to you to say when but Mer?"

"Yeah?"

"I just really want to marry you and for the record, I don't care if you are pregnant and fat when you walk up the aisle."

"Oh, okay." She finally smiled her amazing smile and her eyes scrunched up happily. "I want to get married too. With snow. And er, in Connecticut unless your mother minded..." She paused, "And all my family has to be there. Otherwise no wedding. And I only have to deal with bridesmaids and dresses..." The last part sent Derek into laughter and he just nodded and kissed her again.

"Only dresses and bridesmaids. Got it." He winked at her before giving her a broad smile. "So I can tell my mother to stop panicking?"

"Yes."

"And you'll be able to deal with my sisters when they find out?"

"Yes. As long as they don't find out about the pregnancy until _after_ the wedding. Your mother must be psychic by the way..."

"Not really, she's just had five kids and has about a million grandchildren."

"I guess so..." Meredith sighed and leant against him, "Is there anything else?"

"Just one more thing. You love me right?"

"Yes." Meredith said seriously before giggling and kissing his chin.

"Good," Derek said kissing her nose, "Because I love you too and I can't wait to get married!"

**So that was chapter 14, I really hope you all enjoyed it and reviews are most welcome. I have a feeling I didn't respond to everyone who reviewed last time so I'm sorry but every comment is gratefully accepted :) It's nice knowing people like my story. Love to all my readers and again I'm sorry this took so long... xxxxxx**


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